Romance Redux
by White Scaramouche
Summary: Through a totally contrived plot device, two star-crossed lovers are face to face. Will he get the girl this time, or will their history be too much to overcome? Set post DH, SSLE.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N I haven't written anything in what feels like forever. This is my first crack at this pairing. Hope like-minded shipper enjoy it!**

**I don't own anything!**

"This," Harry thought, "will be interesting."

Working as an Auror could be surprisingly dull at times, and at other hair-raising. Rarely, however, did Harry get assigned the jobs that required finesse and tact. He was never sent out undercover, and usually did not negotiate with informants. This was all fine by Harry. Today, however, he had actually been given a job because his superiors thought he would be the best to talk to the detainee because "they already had a 'bond.'" Harry had to hold back an incredulous snort when he heard that. It was true in way, but he was also quite certain that he was the last person Severus Snape would want to have a heart-to-heart with. Unable to fully explain some of the reasons, (and unwilling to bring up his "misbehavior" from his Hogwarts days), Harry found himself walking down the halls of the Ministry of Magic toward what was certain to be an awkward conversation for all involved.

He opened the door to see Snape sitting in his office. It was surreal to see him there, after all these years. They both eyed each other for a moment before Harry broke the silence. "Professor."

"So I see you've managed to find employment."

"Yes…I was fortunate. You must be surprised to see me alive at all"

"I must admit I was taken aback when they said you would be seeing me, but more so to find myself in the land of the living at all. So will you be giving me an explanation of what is going on, or will I have to wait some more?"

Harry cleared his throat. "Well, it all started with this fellow, Blot Punny . He had some Muggle training in something called quantum physics and he was also well read in magical theory. Some of his friends were killed during Voldemort's first period of power. Anyways, he came up with this idea that he could bring back people as if from the dead if he made them travel through time to the present right before they were about to die. Other wizards had tried this before, but he realized that they had been missing a key step. The space-time what have you won't allow that to work, because it changes the past, and so changes the future. Blot, realized that he had to prevent the course of events in the past from being altered. He added an additional charm to his device that would send the friend back to right where and when they had been taken from when they were about to die in the present. It also would age them in reverse, as to give no inkling to anyone in the past that anything out of the ordinary had happened. Anyways, he didn't set his charms exactly right, and the spell has been causing all sort of high jinks since. People, seemingly at random will get whisked into the future right before they die. The ministry has been dealing with people as they pop up. Helping them adjust, especially people from farther back in the past."

Snape let Harry finish speaking and then asked, "So, am I free to go?"

Harry sighed. "Well, that is one thing I need to talk to you about." After you died, it was… ambiguous what side you were on. I managed to clear your name… for most people. You were officially exonerated and awarded the Order of Merlin, but since you were dead, anyone who disagreed didn't put up too much of a fight. Now… there is some concern from some quarters. There is going to be a second investigation. Until then, you're being detained.

"Ah well, I suppose I will have to cancel my appointments."

"I'm sure it will all be cleared up soon enough, but for the time being you'll be lodged here." Harry answered. He was surprised that Snape seemed only mildly irritated by this turn of events.

"May I ask, Mr. Potter, how exactly you cleared my name the first time?"

"Some of your memories Sir."

Snape's closed mouth tightened. Harry decided he might as get on with it. "I respected your privacy Sir, if that is what you are wondering about. I didn't show them everything"

"Very smart of you Potter. I trust it will remain between us." Snape said, looking suddenly uncomfortable, crossing his arms.

"Well, there is one thing I think I should tell you." Harry began. Snape raised his eyebrows in a droll expression. "You aren't the first person that's come back like this… my mother, she's been back for six years now."


	2. Chapter 2

**AN - I own nothing recognizable.**

Severus drew a deep breath. His thoughts were a confused mess. He started to say something and stopped. With a shaking voice said "Does…Does she know?"

"Yes." Harry said, before hurriedly adding, "I am sorry! I…didn't know you'd be coming back too!" Snape stared at the floor. Harry continued. "She didn't understand what you'd done. She was… skeptical that you had had honorable reasons for what you did. I… just didn't think it was right… after everything you'd done, for her of all people to hate you."

"Hate me?" Said Snape, feeling as if he had been punched in the stomach.

"She did believe me then, although I don't know how she'll react to the news that you are back." Harry answered quickly. "If you want… I'll talk to her and see if she might want to see come and see you."

"No."

"No?"

"I assure you Mr. Potter, that I do not need your services as a liaison." Snape managed to compose himself. The rare display of emotion was over. "If we are done here, may I be shown to wherever it is I'm staying?"

"Of course" Harry said.

* * *

The ministry had provided him with a bed, a chair, a window and a desk. When Snape was finally alone in his temporary quarters, he allowed himself to process what had occurred. Lying back on the bed, he closed his eyes. He felt like he was in a raft set adrift. No job, no war to fight, and his purpose unclear. Finally there was _her. _He had stared down the Dark Lord for her, but he could barely fathom facing her now. Now that she knew. He couldn't decide which was worse, her thing im for what he had done as a death eater, or pitying him but still not liking him. For a brief moment he considered the possibility that he could try to win her over of course, but quickly realized the folly. If she had hated him for a simple prejudice against muggles and muggle-born, what did she think of now? Although she was alive now, he had ruined her life. Her husband was dead, and her child had grown up an orphan. If she wanted to see him, to yell at him, or to get some kind of resolution, then she would know where to find him. Otherwise, he would bring nothing but pain to both of them if he contacted her.

Thus resolved, he tried to focus on more practical matters. Where does one even begin after being dead for 15 years? He was able to use the fireplace in his room to communicate, but not to leave. The ministry had also provided him with stationary and envelopes to be given to their owls. While sharpening his quill, he made a mental list of the acquaintances he should contact. A contact for some legal council of course, another potions master who would be able to fill him in on the state of the job market, Minerva perhaps. Apparently she was still in good health according to Potter and he had to admit her advice had always been sound. Again Lily crossed his mind. He realized could send her a letter. He wouldn't of course, but all these years he had wondered what she would say to this or that, and the answer was always theoretical. The fact that he could simply write her name on an envelope and it would get to her was astounding to him.

He was halfway through his second letter when there was a knock at the door. Severus got up and looked through the small window in the door. Staring back at him was Neville Longbottom. He considered this new development and decided that his former student would be more interesting than the contents of his cell, so he opened the door. "And, what do I owe this pleasure Mr. Longbottom?"

"Good to see you Professor." Neville smiled, but did not try to hide his amazement on seeing the old potions master again. "I've been sent by McGonagall. We're hoping you can help us out."

"Well, if she wants me to go and get myself killed again, I'll have to disappoint her." Answered Snape.

Neville chuckled nervously as he let himself into the room. "Well, this position doesn't usually require that. Not anymore at least. Our Defense Against the Dark Arts professor just found out she is pregnant and won't be coming back for the second term. We're in a pinch, and the news that you were back seemed like a lucky break… of course I don't know if you are interested, but we'd love to have you back. The staff is pretty young to be honest, and Sinistra isn't keen on staying on as head of Syltherin. Anyways, McGonagall wants me to tell you that the job is yours if you want it."

Snape sighed. "I accept for the next semester at least, but I can't promise more than that. Incidentally, there is the small issue of my detention."

Neville nodded. "Harry said that your hearing would be in a couple of days. Your defense believes they have adequate evidence between his memories and some of Dumbledore's documents."

"Well, that's nice to know." Snape was thinking about living a much more normal life without Order and Death Eater obligations getting in the way of some relaxation. Although he had never been a fan of the students per se, as a professor, he would have access to the Hogwarts potions equipment, and could probably conduct some research in his new free time. He also had to admit that having a staff of house elves to make meals was also a plus.

"Yes, Harry was meaning to visit you but got called away. He told me to let you know that you are in good hands, defense-wise. He's off after another Death Eater hoax… of course anytime there is even the possibility they call in half the aurors." Neville explained.

"I see." Snape decided he was still hungry for conversation (and information) and so he asked Neville to sit down and fill him in on the last several years. If Neville was surprised at this show of sociability, he didn't let on. He even broached the subject of Snape's last year at Hogwarts.

"I am sorry we were at odds so much that last year. I wish I could have concentrated my efforts at making life miserable for the real death eaters" apologized Neville.

"You succeeded in that as well, so I wouldn't be too apologetic about any collateral in my direction if I were you Longbottom." Snape said. Neville grinned.

"Well, glad to know you aren't holding any grudges on that account then. I'd hate to have to watch my back with you around again."

"You are teaching Herbology I presume?" asked Snape.

"Yes, Sprout came into some inheritance money I understand and now owns her own farm. She's doing well I hear." Explained Neville. "There are still some people left from your time though. McGonagall, although she will retire soon most likely, Hagrid, Flitwick, Firenze, Vector, Sinistra…."

"There is a good chance I'd know the potions master as well. There aren't that many of us in Britain" said Snape.

"Well, she hasn't been a potions master for too long, but you might know her. You were in school together I think. Harry's Mum, Lily Potter. She was killed in the war but got brought back like you a couple of years ago." Snape tried to show little reaction as Neville went on about Lily. How she was popular among the students, how she would organize staff get-togethers, how she was modest about her role in the downfall of Voldemort. Finally he interrupted Neville.

"Come to think of it, I believe I won't be returning to Hogwarts."

"What? Why the change of mind?" Asked Neville.

"I have suddenly remembered how much I despise young people. Good day Mr. Longbottom." And with that, Snape escorted a confused Neville out of the room.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Sorry for the long internal monologues that have plagued this fic, after the back-story is established for everyone, I promise the frequency will decrease! **

As Lily approach the castle, package under her arm, she thought about how much she enjoyed making a trip to Hogsmeade every few days. The walk beneath the open sky and rolling hills were the perfect balance to life within Hogwarts. Today she noted the beginning signs of autumn. The changing leaves, signs of Hagrid's pumpkin crop and the chill in the air signaled that summer would soon be a memory again. There was another reason Lily liked the path from the school to the village. Although the staff and students at Hogwarts changed with the years, as had the shops and denizens of Hogsmeade, the route between had remained much the same since the days she had been a student. Sometimes she half expected to find her schoolmates crowded in the sweets shop and sitting inside the pubs and inns, enjoying a little freedom. It had been so disconcerting to find oneself decades in the future, without James, that she tended to value anything that still seemed familiar.

She had adjusted well though, in her opinion. She enjoyed playing the role of a very young grandmother for Harry's children. She had found a place as a teacher at Hogwarts. Still, Lily thought sometimes that she would never feel quite right. She had arrived in a future without Voldemort and the war, but also without her closest friends. The Potter family had been strangers to her when she had arrived. Harry the weary auror bore little resemblance to the infant she had been caring for. His children were lovely, but she certainly didn't feel like she should have _grandchildren _yet. Still, Ginny had graciously allowed her younger mother-in-law to move in with them as she figured out what to do with herself.

Up until her "death" the only things she lived for was her family and defeating Voldemort. Now Voldemort was gone and Harry did not need his nappies changed anymore. She had eventually decided after several month of being a babysitter for the Potter and Weasley families that some career was in order, and had decided to pursue potions because the job market was supposedly good, and her N.E.W.T. score had been high. After completing her training under a slightly senile potions master with the help of some textbooks, she had replaced the now twice-retired Slughorn as the potions instructor at Hogwarts. Still after several years, she didn't quite feel like she had "settled" into her new time. She felt oddly out of place and kept expecting to wake up in the middle of the first war.

One eccentricity she hoped Harry never found out about was her quarters. When she had arrived as the most junior faculty member, she had been given limited options to choose from when selecting her rooms. She had chosen the ones next to the potions classroom in the basement for the convenience. She hadn't realized until the day she moved in who the previous occupant had been.

McGonagall had been waiting outside the main entrance when her carriage had pulled up to welcome her. Although aged, McGonagall still had the brisk manner of her younger self. Lily had greatly appreciated McGonagall's guidance after arriving in the future, and after becoming a potions mistress, she had jumped at the chance to teach at Hogwarts. She had hoped a return to a familiar place would get her out of the funk she was in. The grounds or the interior did not disappoint her. The paintings were in their places, the quidditch pitch was painted in the same colors. Of course, the students were strangers to her, but there had always been a new crop of first years when she had been a student, so it didn't bother her. Better than your family being strangers at least.

McGonagall filled her in on the details of the meals and accommodations for the faculty as she walked her through the halls. That evening there would be a small gathering of faculty to welcome her, but first she could get settled. After explaining that, the headmistress said to Lily, "I'm sorry but your quarters are still furnished with Severus's belongings. After the battle, the ministry wanted to investigate him of course, partially to clear his name, but mostly to find evidence against other death eaters. It was kept under preservation spells, which I never bothered to undo since no one ever wanted the rooms. I contacted the ministry and they approved lifting the spells the other week, so you should be all set to redecorate. Everything of considerable value was sold off at auction, as outlined in his will, oh about three years ago after the ministry approved the sale, but you'll find that the apartments are still almost fully furnished. No doubt you'll want to replace it with your own things soon enough. That man had rather dreary taste in interior design." Lily listened silently, not trusting herself to speak. She finally managed to sputter, "I'm not picky. I'm sure it will do."

Now, three years late, the décor remained the same. She could not explain to herself why she had not changed it. Perhaps it was an effort to inhabit the space of a man who remained an enigma in her mind. She had trouble comprehending that her childhood friend, the cruel death eater and the hero had been one in the same. Perhaps it was because it made the past she had left seem close and almost real again. Severus had not been able to let it go either she had learned by going through his old things. Or perhaps she simply liked to come home from a day of enthusiastic and cheerful teaching and relax in a somber and understated dungeon. Whatever the reason, everything from the towels to the tea set remained the same. She had added her own books to his library, but had been careful to observe the shelving system he had used.

When Lily had reached her door that day, she shifted her parcel from her trip to Hogsmeade, so she could reach for her key. As she was fishing in her pockets, she heard a familiar greeting. "Oh hello Lily! Been doing some shopping?"

"Yes Neville, I need some supplies and I treated myself to a new robe. How have you been?"

"Oh, I just got back from an interesting errand McGonagall sent me on."

"How'd it go?"

"I wasn't completely successful but I am glad I went anyways. I'll have something to talk about next time I see my old classmates."

Lily unlocked the door and turned to Neville. "Won't you come in? You've piqued my curiosity."

Neville followed her into the sitting room. "Well, this might end up concerning you actually, with you living here and all."

"Me?"

"I suspect he will probably want his things back."

Lily felt her stomach drop, but managed to say "Who?"

"Professor Snape. Ol' Blot Punny's brought him back too. McGonagall, never one to waste any time, wanted me to see if he could teach Defense Against the Dark Arts next semester."

"What did he say?"

"Well, that was the strange thing. He agreed at first. He was downright chatty, for Snape I mean. Seemed interested in what had happened over the past decade and all. Then all of a sudden he changed his mind and ended the whole conversation."

Lily's mind raced and she dared to ask "What were you talking about when he changed his mind?"

Neville thought for a moment and said "Oh, the current faculty here actually. I don't suppose he has a conflict with someone, do you? He was about your age, so you might know better than I. I just remember him being an all-round scary fellow. In fact, would you believe he was the form bogarts took around me."

"Really?" Lily almost chuckled.

"I exploded a lot of cauldrons. When I was leading the DA we caused him all sorts of trouble too. He didn't seem too hold that against me though. Ah well, would have been interesting to have him here."

Lily nodded, all the while her thoughts were racing.

**A/N To those of you who are wondering - this is listed as partially humor for a reason. I like to put my characters in uncomfortable situations for my (and your) amusement, so don't feel bad if you find some parts funny. And yes, James has not been forgotten hehe...**


	4. Chapter 4

As soon as Neville had left, Lily closed the door firmly behind her and headed straight to her fireplace to floo Harry. As she reached for the powder she realized that somewhere out there was Severus. And maybe he had a fireplace. And maybe he'd be by it. She could see him face to face and ask him what she couldn't all these years. She could ask him… She shook her head. "No, not yet." She said aloud. "I don't even know what I _would _say to him anyways." Instead she called out "Harry Potter" clearly after she'd stepped into the fireplace.

Harry had just arrived from work about twenty minutes before his mother arrived in his kitchen. He saw look on her face and immediately guessed why she was there. "I am so sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I've been running around all day since he arrived. I meant to send you an owl as soon as I got home."

"It's alright Harry. As long as You Know Who hasn't come back I think I can withstand the shock of an old classmate reappearing." Lily forced a smile. "Still, I can't say it wasn't a shock. And to hear from Longbottom that they want him for a teaching position!"

"I am sorry. I didn't realize that was why Neville was there. I just thought he was going to tie up lose ends between Snape and the school. They really must be desperate to fill that defense against the dark arts position." Harry dropped into a chair and rubbed his temples. "Today was enough of a circus when barely anyone knew he'd come back. Once the daily prophet finds out it'll be impossible to get anything else done."

"You're probably right about that." Lily said as she settled into the seat next to her son. She looked at her lap. "How… how does he seem?"

"Same old Professor Snape. A bit disoriented at first, but he was never one to be caught off guard for long. Engaged in a lengthy discussion with his legal counsel when I last saw him."

"Did he say anything about me?" said Lily.

"Yes, he did want to know if I had told you about his motivations. I said I had. He didn't want to continue that topic of discussion after that. Do you want to see him?"

"No. I mean. Not now." Lily paused and started up again. "I just… I want to make things right with him but I don't know how." Tears started running down her cheeks. "I'm sorry I've gotten all worked up about this Harry. I…"

"Don't apologize." Harry gave what he hoped was a comforting pat on her head. "It's not surprising that you'd feel so confused. He was part of the reason you lost everything, but it's not like you completely hate him either"

"It's not that exactly."

"Well, in any case, I don't think he's about to track you down as soon as he's set free if that's any consolation."

Just then, Ginny appeared in the fireplace. "Oh hello Lily! How are you?"

"I'm fine thank you. Had a bit of a strange day." Lily answered.

"Snape's back. Blot Punny again."

"Oh." said Ginny. "What…what is he going to do?"

"Well, he's being held by the ministry now, but once we prove that he should be exonerated _again_, then I imagine he'll find a job fairly quickly. Potions masters are in pretty short supply." Harry was interrupted by an owl. He slipped the message off its leg and read it silently.

"I'm really sorry but it looks like I have to go again. I'm so sorry to leave you like this Lily." Harry said as he lifted his briefcase and headed for the door.

"It's fine. Really." Lily said.

* * *

The next several weeks passed without incident. The Daily Prophet covered Snape's return and exoneration, but once Quidditch season started up, coverage dwindled. Lily did her best to push thoughts of _him _from her mind. She didn't want to see him, and during the day, she managed to keep her thoughts focused on work and her colleagues. At night when she was alone in the suite, she had more trouble. She had taken to filling her free time with outings and get-togethers to avoid the chance for contemplation.

One Saturday night Lily, Neville, and Charlotte Bentham, the transfiguration professor had decided to stay in and relax in her sitting room. Lily spent the ten minutes before the other two were set to arrive tidying up. She hadn't spent enough time at home recently to be bothered by the clutter that had been accumulating. Gathering discarded socks and dirty plates, she placed them inside her tub and closed the curtain. She returned to her sitting room and performed some cleaning charms to take care of the dust. Not a minute passed before there was a knock at the door. "It's unlocked! You can come in!" she called out.

"Hello Lily! I've got the wine right here." Said Neville as he enter, followed by Charlotte.

"Wonderful." Said Lily.

Her guests seated themselves on her couch, leaving the large armchair for Lily. The first order of business was the latest gossip about the staff. Sinistra was in McGonagall's bad graces after some undignified behavior that had been witnessed the previous weekend coming back from the Hog's Head. Vector and Flitwick were quarrelling but no one knew why, although the three professors present didn't hesitate to speculate. During a lull in the conversation, Neville looked around the room and said, "I am glad he didn't take his furniture yet."

"Why's that?" asked Charlotte.

"Oh I don't know… it just makes this type of get together more fun. I feel like I've snuck into Professor Snape's quarters and raided his liquor cabinet or something equally suicidal." Answered Neville.

Charlotte chuckled "Oh, I know what you mean…. can you _imagine_ doing that? That man was terrifying. I know he was working for the right people, but honestly… And this room is so _him _too. The dark colors. The bottles for accents. The stone floor."

Lily listened and then said "What exactly made him so frightening? I knew him at school and he wasn't exactly able to strike fear into people hearts. He started running with the wrong crowd, but without them he wasn't terribly intimidating."

"Well, he always showed up right when you were about to do something wrong." said Charlotte. "He also could fight better than anyone other than Dumbledore we learned."

"Yeah, he even knew how to fly without a broom. Learned it from You Know Who himself." said Neville. "and of course he was a legimens."

"I didn't know that. Harry told me that he was important during the second war as a double agent but I didn't realize he had been that accomplished."

"Oh he was. Fast too. I remember the time he dueled Lockheart in my second year. Man didn't stand a chance. He had it coming to him though, so I can't say I pity him." said Neville. "The way he treated Harry though, that was unfair. I mean, I know he was supposed to be protecting Harry and Harry didn't always make that easy, but he was just a kid and Snape was really unkind to him."

"Harry never said anything about that to me." said Lily.

"Well, I think after he died and Harry knew what he had been going through with You Know Who, what Snape did to him seemed like peanuts. Besides, Harry was pretty beloved by everyone else at school, well for most of the time, so it wasn't like one teacher would ruin things."

After her guests had left, Lily remained in the armchair thinking.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN - **Reviving this fic after many years of lying dormant. Just like Ol' Snape-a-doodle. I might go back and edit the previous chapters if I really feel inspired.

**JKR owns anything you recognize.**

* * *

Minerva McGonagall smiled at Severus, but her eyes showed concern. She stood on the wooden steps leading to his house. This was her second visit to his Cokeworth dwelling– and she could surmise that the man felt some embarrassment at the humble home and location (although it wasn't his go-to blank expression that clued her in, rather, that he'd never mentioned it or ever allowed anyone to visit from the school before).

She wondered why he had never moved. He certainly had saved enough of his salary by his death at a young age to pay for a house in full in one of the respectable wizarding communities. Then again, if the property had been somewhere else, it would have been sold and the proceeds used in the rebuilding. Since Spinner's End was already filled with vacant lots and boarded up houses, Snape's home hadn't attracted any buyers. In the end, the house's low value had ensured that Snape had a place to stay upon his return.

"Headmistress, please come in," he said flatly without a hint of the informality they had once shared as colleagues, but also without the biting tone he could easily muster.

When she'd gone to visit him immediately after his return, she hadn't believed she was at the correct address until she'd glimpsed his figure passing by a window. At least this time it appeared that he was winning the war with the colony of dust doxies that had settled in the living room in his absence, although she didn't know if the republic of gnomes still held territories in the yard. As she came inside, she saw that Snape had replaced the moth eaten curtains, but the furniture was the same – a collection of pieces from the 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s typical of a certain class of muggle. The only clue in the downstairs portion that the house belonged to a wizard was the library – displayed neatly, if crammed in – covering much of the available wall space.

Snape's financial situation was an awkward one. He had left the majority of his "estate" to Hogwarts, and all liquid, or close to liquid assets were gone. The legal question of whether Punny's recently arrived visitors had any claim on their former property was unresolved – luckily, Minerva had been helpful – going to the board of governors and brokering a settlement where Hogwarts paid him back his "loan" in installments. Sadly, the school wasn't in the best fiscal shape; the damage from the final battle – both to the physical structure and the magical installations had cost a considerable sum to repair.

"I see you've made progress reclaiming your home from the years Severus."

"Thank you for your assistance these past weeks Headmistress."

"Severus, you've been permitted to address me as Minerva for many years –

unless you really prefer we call each other 'Headmistress' and 'Former Headmaster' now?"

"My apologies."

"I haven't mentioned the offer of employment again – I don't want to pressure you into something so soon after you've come back to us – but… events have taken a turn, and I really must ask you a second time – with…"

"My answer remains the same." He interrupted. "Teaching does not suit me. You must realize that I didn't _enjoy _trying to convince 11 year olds they should be paying attention and learning instead of making noise and joking with each other? Or grading the same inane efforts at papers for hours on end? Or listening to…."

"_If _you would give me a moment, _Severus," _Minerva cut Snape off. "I understand that you may consider the tedium of my profession beneath you without some higher purpose than merely educating Britain's magical future." The headmistress paused and restarted. "Regardless, I would not ask you twice unless your help in particular was needed. I have reason to believe someone at Hogwarts is… I should say… has malevolent intentions…. or there is something else very wrong with the magical atmosphere at Hogwarts. Some… being has been tampering with the wards. They were clever enough to make the changes easy to overlook– we wouldn't have noticed until Mr. Longbottom accidentally apparated in the middle of one of his classes. To Dover!"

"Imagine!"

"Don't mock me Severus! After that, we combed the wards for holes and alterations…. In addition – it seems like something is interfering with the use of magic on school grounds. Occasionally, no one in a part of the castle can perform magic – it's as if their wands stopped working."

"I fail to see how this requires my taking up teaching again. Someone with experience investigating dark wizards could certainly help you identify such a person."

"That is true, Mr. Potter and his aurors are aware of the situation, but

whoever of whatever it is – they cannot seem to catch him. I have reason to believe he's avoided being caught because he knows we are looking for him.

"Have you considered the possibility that it might be Blot Punny? This sounds suspiciously like his work."

"Of course we have, although at this point, there are many other reasonable explanations. I need someone I can trust – and you are a legilimens who can… protect the students if necessary."

"May I ask why the school hasn't closed if the situation is so dire?"

"You may. The board of governors dismissed my recommendation. When I suggested I might publicly share what I believed, my position as headmistress was threatened. Although I intend to retire soon enough, I can't leave the school now."

"I see." Then Snape added, "I cannot help you in the way you want me to Minerva. I am sorry – I…"

"I don't expect returning to Hogwarts would be easy – we all suffer from the memories of that time, and I can't promise that you won't be in danger – but why – when you put yourself in danger with such ease before? You could have told Riddle some other person was the master of the elder wand – but you let him think he'd have control when he went to fight Harry. Yes, Harry told us about that too. You can't convince me that you are happy in this… place… with no visitors…. no laboratory. I ask you this as your comrade and friend… _please_ Severus."

As Snape listened silently, Minerva hoped it would work. It felt awkward to beg

"I wish you the best of luck, Minverva. But I cannot do this."

* * *

Snape watched Minerva McGonagall walk away from his home and disappear. He closed the door and walked to the kitchen and opened his fridge and took out a beer. He performed a familiar spell to wandlessly unscrew the cap and sat in his armchair. He dismissed the spell that had hid the box of delivery pizza on his TV tray from his guest and opened it, casting a warming charm in the process.

"Bugger."

* * *

**Thoughts? Suggestions? Reviews are always appreciated!**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Thanks to those of you who reviewed, favorite, or added an alert! You keep me motivated. I don't own anything in this story.**

* * *

Lily found herself relaxing during her last lesson of the day on a Friday. Her 5th year students were working with partners (differentiated by objective if anyone asked), and her mind could wander momentarily as she circulated through the classroom. She was looking forward to the weekend and an outing to London that she, Neville, Neville's girlfriend Luna and Charlotte had planned. A wizarding play, and dinner at a trendy muggle restaurant. Lily hope she'd and Charlotte would be able to persuade the other two into visiting a bar or whatever they called "discos" these days. Lily hadn't been dancing in what felt like ages, and nothing made her feel older than teaching. She told herself that she was still young, she was no longer "in mourning" and that she wasn't turning into an old widow without a fight.

"You look happy today Ma'am" observed Cindy Fletcher (a _very_ distant relative to the member of the Order).

"Teachers like their weekends too," said Virgil Wardlaw.

"I betcha she's got a date" commented Procopius Dwight.

Lily's expression changed, and she looked at the bold student. "Mr. Dwight, it appears you neglected to add St. John's Wart to your _stasisflatus _potion before you boiled it. You'll have to start over and turn in your product for a late grade. I will remain in the classroom while you work.

As Procopius attempted to brew his potion, Lily opened her lesson plan folder for second years. In addition to the furniture, Lily had almost exclusively relied on Severus Snape's lesson plans. Everything was charted out to the day – assignments, notes, homework, ingredient lists, grading scales – she had merely copied them with some slight modification to turn into the deputy headmaster (Flitwick had attended some "professional development sessions for muggle teachers and come back with all sorts of ideas about "backwards planning," "differentiation," "data driven instruction," and "depth of knowledge" which manifested in the requirement that all teachers supply daily lesson plans to the administration weekly).

_How very fortunate,_ she thought, _that I can read that boy's handwriting. Just deciphering this thing would have taken just as much time as writing your own lesson for someone unfamiliar with it. It's also good I wasn't tempted to simply cast a transposing spell that copied every word; I don't think the deputy headmaster would have appreciated such quips as: _

'Advanced students – brew _Sacharini_a using the Froelich method, emphasis on proper cutting technique and ingredient proportion. Morons – watch their partner brew _Sacharinia_.'

_Or:_

'The teacher will explain the importance of adding _Achewe_ powder gradually while stirring continuously. The student will add _Achewe_ powder quickly, stir inconsistently and the student's cauldron will blow up. The student will explain the importance following directions.'

Lily gave a snort of concealed amusement at the last line. If Procopius noticed, he didn't comment.

* * *

Lily was the last teacher at dinner; Procopius had needed to start over yet again and she couldn't bring herself to kick him out. _At least he won't take N.E.W.T.S level potions! _she thought. Neville and Charlotte waved to Lily as she came to join them.

"Ready for tomorrow?" asked Lily.

"Luna and I are definitely looking forward to it," replied Neville.

"What sort of trouble are you three planning?" asked Professor Flitwick.

"Going into muggle London for a show and some dinner," answered Charlotte.

"Muggle London! My! How… exciting," commented Professor Vector.

"Well, better enjoy youth while you're young, that's what I always say," said Flitwick.

"Hmmph," suspiciously observed Sinistra.

Lily exchanged knowing looks with Charlotte and Neville. All three were under 35 – while the next youngest professor was in his 50s (and he was a centaur - not exactly the best companion for excursions). Sometimes it felt like the rest of the faculty regarded them as children – with bemusement, but not much else. It was natural that they'd banded together socially, (although Lily wasn't part of their generation, strictly speaking).

Once the attention of the older professors had shifted again, Neville leaned toward Lily and asked "Have you seen much of Harry and Ginny lately?"

"Not really - he's been quite busy – what with that dementor attack in Donegal last week and the incident at Gringotts the week before that. I'm having dinner at their home on Sunday though." Lily was about to add that she worried that Harry tried to handle too much himself but she was interrupted by a commotion among the students.

A second year Hufflepuff had tried to run out of the great hall, but she'd vomited before she reached the door. Almost immediately after, a second Hufflepuff followed suit. Within two minutes, food that had been eaten reappeared throughout the hall and students and professors alike turned pale and covered their mouths.

Professor McGonagall valiantly battled her stomach for dominance. The Headmistress managed to instruct the students on where to go, send patroni to Madame Pomfrey, staff and faculty who had left the grounds on leave that weekend and a contact at St. Mungo's before she retched up a combination of pork roast and pudding.

* * *

It was about 40 minutes later when Severus Snape received a patronus message from Minerva McGonagall (she'd sent out a second round of message after reaching the hospital wing). The translucent cat came through his back window, and in a precise Scottish lilt, said,"Severus Snape, most of the residents of Hogwarts have become violently ill as the result of something in today's dinner. Help has arrived from St. Mungo's and the ministry, but I would _greatly_ appreciate it if you could come here and investigate! It's just a suspicion at this point, but Poppy believes it wasn't spoiled food but poison. This patronus will open the wards for you as you go. The ministry is downplaying my concerns. Get here soon Severus! You're our only hope!"

The patronus said most of that at least.

Snape left his dinner (Indian takeout this time, he might be pathetic in some respects, but at least he could_ try_ to eat healthy), grabbed his coat and wand, and charged through the door into the evening.

By the time he made it to the castle itself, he was winded (he didn't have a broom, so "flying," (actually just magically enhanced hoping) was the fastest way to get there).

"Where is professor McGonagall?" he asked the first student he saw.

"In the infirmary, sir," the Ravenclaw said.

"What teachers were affected?" Snape asked.

"Oh, all of them more or less seemed like."

Snape started towards the infirmary. _Well this is some bloody awkward way to see Lily for the first time since…. last. Did I even shower today? What if this is dangerous? Is there a ketchup stain on these trousers? What if it could be fatal? _His pace quickened. _For some reason this reminds me of that time Blot Punny's bad cooking caused that Greengrass girl to get sick at Malfoy's dinner party and had to stay there and recover. Next thing you know, they're engaged! _

When Severus got to the infirmary ward, it was packed, but not chaos. Healers were administering generic antidotes, which were decently effective, but not as efficient as ones tailored to a poison. He scanned the room for Minerva and Lily. He spotted the headmistress speaking to a ministry health official while sitting up in a chair (all of the cots were taken, many students lay on the floor). A bucket sat at her feet. She saw him as he approached her. "Professor Snape! Oh thank heavens!"

"What's going on?"

McGonagall leaned closer and lowered her voice, "That's what I must know. The ministry won't deploy any aurors! They claim it is simply a case of food poisoning. But the house elves deny it of course, and Poppy holds that no food poisoning could cause such immediate and violent a reaction. Quickly Severus – gather samples from the great hall – Filch will help you – and run tests – try to isolate some toxic agent! I believe this school has suffered a gastronomic attack!"

"I will need access to a laboratory."

"Yes of course – Professor Potter has the keys – she's over there near cabinet. She'd help you but I doubt she feels up to it now."

Sure enough, Snape looked and saw a woman who was kneeling, facing away from them, with the most luscious, bright red locks of hair cascading down her back. A delicate hand with fair skin reached behind her and gathered those amber tendrils as if she were about to put her hair in a ponytail. Instead, she leaned forward, head below her shoulders.

"Don't just… stand there….Hurry!... Severus!..." McGonagall managed between spasms of her digestive tract.

He'd been rooted in place staring. _Right. _Snape thought. _Keys. Something about keys. Yes. Keys to the laboratory. You just have to ask for the keys. Should I say something about how I am sorry she's not feeling well? No. You might as well say you're sorry her husband died and she died all because you were an angry immature idiot. 'Yes, terribly sorry about all that Lily, now can I bother you about the potions lab keys?' Fool. What am I going to do? Get yourself together Snape! _

* * *

_Well Fuck Me. So much for a relaxing weekend! Sitting here on the floor surrounded by ill children, revisiting everything I ate today. _Lily seethed. She pointed her wand at glass near to her, and filled it with water. She reached with her left hand to raise it to her mouth, riding her mouth of the taste of bile as best as she could. _I really hope that was the last time. _She picked up a towel that was also beside. She was still wiping her mouth when she sensed a presence behind her. Lily spun around. And froze.

"What are you doing here?" she finally managed.

"I need ah….The Headmistress requested my assistance. I... am to study the poisoned food and see if I can locate the poison. She instructed me to retrieve the keys to the laboratory from you. Professor."

"My keys?"

"Yes. The ones to the laboratory should be sufficient."

Lily looked to where McGonagall was watching their exchange. The headmistress's expression alone somehow communicated, "Don't just sit there! Hurry up and give the man your keys," across the crowded infirmary.

"Oh… um." Lily located her ring of keys in her pocket, and brought it in front of her. She was about to remove the laboratory key when she was struck by another fit of vomiting and had to clutch the bucket in front of her again. When the attack abated, she looked back at the man in front of her whose deadpan expression register neither disgust having watched her puke, familiarity for his first friend, nor the undying love that had apparently lead him to his death. Lily realized she was staring. She pushed herself to her feet. "Here." She held the key straight out in front of her. Somehow, he took it without touching her.

"Thank you professor." He paused, and then added, "I wish you a speedy recovery." Without waiting for a response, he strode out of sight.

**Please leave reviews! Shameless Plug: I just created two-part fanmix on 8tracks that is (cannon based) SSLE. All the songs are "historically accurate!" Link to my "eight tracks" account on my profile.**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: None of the characters belong to me. Just having fun**.

* * *

Neville had been put in charge of all the moderately sick Gryffindors who were laying in their houses common room and he'd finally been relieved by Hagrid in the wee hours of the morning. The worst seemed to be over – most of his charges had managed to fall asleep.

Neville hadn't expected Lily to be awake, much less working in the lab that night. She had seemed pretty sick when he last saw her several hours ago. But sure enough, a light was on in the potions lab. _Odd. Maybe she's working on making something to settle her stomach? That doesn't make much sense since the healers brought a lot. _Concerned, Neville opened the door.

"Hey Lily, you feeling any bet…. Ah!" Neville jumped back, and then clamped his hand over his mouth.

"Mr. Longbottom, if you are considering casting a _Riddikulus_ charm, please refrain," said (presumably) Severus Snape.

"Oh… ha ha. Of course not professor - just wasn't expecting you, that's all, but, c-can I ask what you're doing here?"

"The headmistress requested my assistance in analyzing samples of the food from tonight's meal."

"Ah. Right then. Well, I'll uh, leave you to it sir"

"Goodnight Professor Longbottom."

"This doesn't mean you'll be joining us in January then?" Neville looked somewhat disappointed.

"No. Now if you'll excuse me…"

"Because we really could use you. I mean, with all that's been happening… the more people around we can trust, the better. I hope you'll at least reconsider. Some people were so sick and dehydrated today they needed emergency fluid replenishment. We both know how much… harm could happen if someone's found a way into the castle." Neville took a step into the room.

"Indeed. How… touching." Snape turned back to the equipment on the table. Neville looked as if he wanted to say something, but instead shook his head and left.

* * *

About an hour later, Snape had conclusively isolated the poison (mothsfeet) and identified which dishes had been dosed (most of them). He wrote his findings down on a pad of paper that had been left out. He performed a cleaning and organizing charm on the laboratory, restoring it to state it had been when he'd entered. He was grateful that his lack of sleep and the task at hand had preventing him from thinking about whose lab it was. Although it was mostly the same as when he had been the potion's master, the small changes such as a picture calendar, the corkboard, the jar of quills shouted that this was _her_ domain. Snape suddenly wanted to see his former quarters with her in them. He knew that she lived there. McGonagall had told him. Once he had the idea, he couldn't stop thinking about it. As he walked towards the headmistress's office, he wondered if any of the furniture was the same. Was _she_ sleeping in his _bed_? _Best not to think about it _he told himself.

As he ascended the steps, he could hear that the headmistress was talking to someone. _Probably the portraits_, he thought. As he neared the door, however, he recognized the voice. It was hers.

* * *

McGonagall remarked that she was glad Snape was finished testing the food when the password at the bottom had been spoken. Before he reached the top of the stairs, she had quickly asked, "Did you ever speak to him again about working here?"

"Yes I did. He was resistant. I must admit I am puzzled at his refusal, but then again, the man has enough memories here. I supposed I thought that he did enjoy teaching somewhat. Apparently I was wrong."

Lily heard the steps nearing the office and changed the topic. "What is to be done about the... incident tonight?"

"I have questioned all the house elves who were in the kitchen. Once I know what it was, we can try to pinpoint where it came from. If one of them was involved, they weren't the mastermind, I believe, but at this point, there is so little evidence…. The ministry said they'd send someone to investigate on Monday! Some business about a 'weekend!' The nerve!"

At that, the door swung open, revealing Severus Snape. Somehow the torches in the stairwell cast the potions master in silhouette on the threshold, his dark robe settling while the man stood still. _He certainly manages to make some dramatic entrances and exits, _thought Lily. _Should I do this? Can I do this? _

Snape spoke first. "Headmistress, Professor," He greeted them. "The poison was mothsfeet. It was evenly distributed throughout several of the dishes. Whoever did this is experienced in poisoning. They knew to put small amounts in most of the food as if they did not wish anyone to – expire – but also wanted to ensure that a wide swath of people were afflicted. Purchasing this amount of mothsfeet would require a decent sum of money and successfully carrying out the job would require planning and skill."

"Thank you Severus" replied McGonagall. "I see you have written down some things. Excellent. If you could leave those with me, please? Thank you."

"Will that be all?" he asked.

"Yes. And I must say how grateful I am you were able to come tonight. My most sincere thanks" she said, clasping his hand.

Snape nodded and turned as if to leave, but the older woman increased her hold on him.

"Oh Severus! I… what with everything… I am worried. Something is very wrong…. And the ministry…. It's as if they got so used to Albus taking care of security here they forgot that it is still their duty to protect the students here! I cannot do this alone…" The headmistress continued to grip his hand while covering her mouth with her other hand.

"I am sorry I…"

"I should apologize. You have made your wishes quite clear. I shouldn't be burdening you with all of this. Not after what you were here for that last year before the war's end. What a terrible time. You should not have to relive it again." Dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief, she released Snape's hand.

"Good luck and good night Minerva."

"Goodnight Severus."

Nodding his head to where Lily had silently watched the exchange, Snape again moved towards the door.

_You need to act now, Lily. _

"Let me show you out," Lily said.

If Snape was surprised, he didn't show it.

* * *

The staircase was narrow; the two wizards barely had enough room to walk side by side as they descended. Again, Lily spoke up.

"It's none of my business, but if you're not taking the job on my account, you should know that I won't be here for very long."

Snape was looking directly at her now. The unblinking and blank gaze was unnerving. The stone walls suddenly felt too close together.

"What I mean is, you and I would only overlap by a semester. I'm leaving for Australia at the end of Spring term. A research position."

"Congratulations. I am sure you will be most successful."

Lily realized they had stopped walking and were standing, Snape looking down from the step above.

_A different tactic perhaps? _Lily thought.

"And I am just as worried as McGonagall" she continued. "Scared even!"

Snape, impassive as ever, listened but did not reply.

_Alright, here I go.… _thought Lily.

"And I know I, I mean, we all, would feel so much safer if we had someone such as you in the castle."

Snape's reaction was to close his eyes and slowly inhale, pause, and then exhale, his eyes finding hers again.

"Your _wish_ is my command Professor Potter," he hissed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't…"

"Oh you most _certainly_ did," he replied "here is your key," he added as he handed her back the key, composed once more. Without waiting for a response, he turned and quickly covered the rest of the stairwell, and disappeared around the corner of the hallway below, leaving Lily behind. She shuddered.

* * *

**Sorry for all the head-hopping. Reading "The Savage Dectectives" and I blame that for my inability to stay in anyone's POV for too long. **


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Swearing AHOY! If your young tender ears (eyes?) can't handle it then… your parents really should monitor your internet usage more. Thar' might even be lemons a-brewing several chapters out (rating change will happen if that happens obvsly). **

**I want to thank everyone who has reviewed, especially those of you who've reviewed multiple times (Alethea, duj, Leila, Lon, Vampsmoonangel, excessivelyperky, and hwlya who is paying more attention than I am).**

* * *

Snape moved through the corridors as quickly as possible while still walking with some dignity. _Damn. Damn. Damn. I am a fucking IDIOT. My first first real conversation with her and I effectively tell her to sod off. God, what was I thinking? I need to get out of this bloody castle. _

When he apparated back at his house, he felt clammy and his thoughts were still racing. _Just that one conversation has got me this wound up, _he thought. _How can I manage to live and work in the same school? _

Snape collapsed onto his sofa._ How could you fuck up again so soon Severus? Where is Mr. Impenetrable Spy? And I thought all that occlumency, all the times my life depended on my remaining in control, all that would mean that _this_ time I could be around her without making an utter ass of myself. _

_What a fool I am. She says TWO sentences and there I go, snapping at her. _

_When all those years I've wished I could unsay (and undo) so many things. And here you go making more mistakes the first chance I get! She really must think I'm a lunatic now._

_Fucking Hell. _Snape lurched forward, stifling a sob with an orange and brown knitted throw in his lap.

After awhile, he calmed down and Snape was able to analyze their interactions more rationally. He nursed his second beer and a cigarette. _What was Lily's motivation? Why would she want him at the school? Was she really that worried about her safety or that of others? Possible. _Snape tossed the empty bottle into the trash. _It certainly wasn't a desire for his company, that much was certain. It was clear that she knew him well enough to take the correct tactic. Between what the Potter boy had showed her and her experience with him… even though he had seen right through it, in the end, she would get what she wanted. The path ahead was clear indeed._

* * *

Although she'd gone to bed directly after their conversation, she wasn't close to falling asleep. Lily hadn't known what to expect from her first conversation with the resurrected Severus. _After all, it wasn't every day that a man who was tragically devoted to your memory and had risked his life and died for it walked back into your life_. She hadn't known what to expect, but it certainly hadn't been like this. _Apparently undying love doesn't guarantee immunity from Severus's cutting words. _

_Or unquestioning obedience for that matter_, she thought, _He was being sarcastic I am sure. He definitely cannot have any intention of coming to Hogwarts now. If I had been more open and direct, would that have worked any better? What would that possibly have sounded like? "Oh hi there Sev, so I was wondering if you could do me a huge favor and come teach her and keep everyone safe since apparently you do that sort of thing for me now!" _

Lily got out of the bed and walked to the kitchenette, her bare feet on the cold stone floor giving her a tactile distraction. She made herself a cup of tea, its temperature forcing her to consume it slowly. _He is definitely different, _she thought. _I can see now how he would have been intimidating to his students. So different from the Severus I knew. There's a… presence to him now. And he's so… unreadable. That's what it is. I used to know how he was feeling, even if he was trying to hide it. This time, you wouldn't think there was anything unusual about our running into each other, not until the very end when I made him angry. And then, it was so much controlled than when I knew him. _Lily drained the remaining tea in her cup. The clock said 4 am.

_Tomorrow, I shall write him a letter, and tell him… what ? I will apologize. I will tell him why I want him to come here, and… no, he already knows you are worried. Anything more will seem like you are trying to guilt him even more. I will simply apologize. _With that thought, Lily returned to bed, and slept.

* * *

The next morning, Lily groaned when she saw how late she'd slept. _Damn. So much for getting some grading done before we leave for the city. _Since it was too late for breakfast in the great hall, Lily made herself strong coffee and read over the daily prophet. The incident at the school was only briefly mentioned in a side column, and the scale of the sickness hadn't been conveyed at all. _Odd, _Lily thought_. You'd think that it would be the kind of thing they'd sensationalize. Luck though. I don't know how McGonagall would handle external criticism on top of everything else right now. _

After showering and getting dressed, Lily did manage to grade some recent written examinations. Then she put some of her clean laundry fresh from the house elves away. With about an hour before she was meeting with Charlotte and Neville, Lily finally took out a piece of paper and a quill. _Best to keep it simple and short,_ she told herself. Sighing, she slowly wrote the following:

_Severus,_

_I apologize for the way I spoke to you yesterday. I wish to be open and honest with you in the future._

_Sincerely,_

_Lily_

Before she could change her mind, Lily folded the paper, wrote the familiar address on the envelope and sealed it. She then changed into a different outfit for the excursion and applied some makeup. She then headed to the Owlery to post the letter.

* * *

Lily had managed to put the events of the previous day out of her mind for most the time with the group in London. Charlotte's imitations of students had Lily snorting and covering her mouth with her napkin for fear that she'd spit her food out. In the midst of a colorful reenactment of a recent "verbal altercation" between two third year students, Neville interjected.

"Oh, I almost forgot! Snape took the job after all."

"Really?" said Charlotte. "I thought that he was dead against it."

"I did too. Just last night he said that there was not chance." Neville turned to Lily to clarify. "I asked him when I came by the lab. Thought you'd be there. Nearly jumped out of my skin to see the old bat back in his territory so to speak. I asked him anyways. Figured it couldn't hurt."

"I wonder what could have changed his mind," said Charlotte.

"Unfinished business most likely," stated Luna.

"What do mean Luna?" asked Neville.

"That's always why Blot Punny brings them back. So there can be resolution" Luna responded. "Is he going to be head of Slytherin again?"

"Seems so," said Neville.

"When did you find this out Neville" asked Lily.

"Oh first thing this morning. McGonagall mentioned it at breakfast. I forgot you weren't there," he answered.

"Oh," said Lily. "Well, I'm sure that the headmistress is relieved."

Charlotte smiled, "I am actually looking forward to having him around. Nothing like Severus Snape to put some fear into the students. We could use a couple of professors who can be 'bad cop.' Closest thing we have is McGonagall and she doesn't teach, and everyone knows she's a softy inside anyways."

"Easy for you to say, you were decent at potions. Words truly can't describe how terrified I was of that man my first three years of school. Eventually, I figured he was more bark than bite and it was a bit better. Then he killed Dumbledore, and I went right back to thinking he was the scariest thing ever," said Neville. "I guess I was right in a way. He turned out to be a pretty dangerous man. And can you _imagine_ keeping your cool around Voldemort all the time like that? That's not normal."

"I wonder if he'll let his hair down a bit now that that's all over," said Charlotte.

"Now_ that's_ something I want to see," said Neville.

"You should invite him to our hangouts, Lily," said Charlotte. "He pretty much qualifies as one of the young teacher set compared to the dinosaurs on the rest of the faculty.

"And he's from the same generation as Lily," added Luna. "I'm sure they'll have lots in common."

The conversation turned then to Charlotte's project of filling Lily in on the trends and notable artists in music in the decades she'd missed.

"I don't think it's natural. The way Mick Jagger dances all around like that. At his age." Neville continued, "I'm convinced there's some magic he's using."

"He is probably a menninkäinen," stated Luna.

"Hey, there's something you two have in common!" said Charlotte.

"What?" said Lily.

"The _Stones_!" said Charlotte.

"Oh yeah, Snape's old records!" chuckled Neville. "We'll have to ask him about that, definitely!"

"Don't you think he'll be… unhappy we looked through his things?" asked Lily?

"Nah. I mean, he was dead wasn't he? No point in old records just colleting dust" said Charlotte.

"I suppose you're right,' sighed Lily.

* * *

**I dunno if I liked Snape's inner monologue /rant in first person. I wrote it in second person originally ie: "You are a fucking idiot. The first chance you get and you etc…" and didn't like that either. Le Sigh.**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: I don't own anything!**

* * *

The weeks after the food incident progressed without incident, mostly. About two weeks after Severus had accepted the job, Lily received a letter from him. She had been expecting some acknowledgement of her previous letter, but this one made no mention of her apology. It said:

_Professor Potter, _

_If you are able to locate my lesson plans and other materials for Defense Against the Dark Arts, and send them to me, I would be most grateful. I left them in reddish brown manila accordion style portfolios. They are labeled as such and were stored in the desk in my study. _

_Severus Snape_

Lily immediately knew what he was referring to of course. They had been next to the potions lesson plans she had been using, but they had remained where they'd been since she had had no use for them, and Honeycolm, the outgoing Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, had arrived with her own ideas. Lily retrieved the portfolios and wrapped them in paper to prepare them for posting. She decided to add a note. It said:

_Severus, _

_Let me know if there is anything else of yours you would like returned. I haven't thrown anything away of value. In fact, your potions lesson plans have proved invaluable to me. _

_Best, _

_Lily_

After getting a team of owls to transport the packages to Severus, Lily thought again about what having Severus around again would be like. _Admit it, you've spent the past six years obsessing about the man. You didn't think he was coming back and you built him up into some…tragic romantic hero. I mean, who could blame me?_

Lily remembered when Harry had shown her Snape's memories for the first time. She had been so sad. But that wasn't all. She was still angry that he'd joined the Death Eaters and that he had been the one to report the prophecy to Voldemort. He was confused and surprised at the sudden change in allegiance. Surprised at his reason. And very angry and frustrated. _If you cared so much for me Severus, why did you join them in the first place! You knew what they were! You knew what they wanted to do to me! _She had wanted to scream at him. _Why would you suddenly be willing to sacrifice everything for my sake once I was dead? If you'd only listened all those times I warned you about that crowd. _But yet she had also felt guilty. _Could I have said something, done something differently to have stopped this? But I tried… if I had given him one more chance, would it have made any difference?. _And finally, although she was reluctant to admit it to herself at first, she was overwhelmed; she could think of no greater expression of love than to toil without hope of recognition or survival in remembrance of someone long dead.

_And now I am here and he is gone, alone, with these memories, _she had thought at the time. And she had done her best to make a life for herself in the strange land of the future, but all the while, her friend was a silent presence. When she'd found herself in his quarters, his pull had increased; in his sitting room and in his study, in his kitchen and in his bedroom, at his desk and in his bed she'd sought to conjure a memory, an impression of the man who'd been so devoted to hers. She'd examined his medicine cabinet. She'd run her hands over his clothing and pressed it to her, attempting to inhale the remnants of his scent. She'd read his books, drunk his liquor, dusted his furniture and inspected his stock of potion ingredients. She'd greedily collected anecdotes from Harry and others who'd known him. _And now he's here and he's not what you remembered, but neither is he what you imagined._

* * *

Lily was reminded of the fact that Severus Snape was going to teach at Hogwarts again as she sat in Professor Honeycolm's going away party. It was the weekend before exams, and the faculty was gathered in a room that pretty much only was used for retirement parties and the like. The idea, perhaps, was that having a social event in the same location as faculty meetings were held would dampen the festive spirit.

Lily was disappointed when she realized there'd be no alcohol served since Honeycolm was in a family way. She supposed it would be tacky for everyone to stand around with drinks in hand while the guest of honor had pop. Maybe she could convince Neville and Charlotte to duck out to a pub afterwards. She'd been behind with grading but after a marathon session the night before, she was practically caught up and she felt like getting out of the castle, since the last time she'd been anywhere had been the trip to London three weeks ago. _Yes, that's a good idea. _

Unfortunately, neither of her usual cronies were available afterwards. Neville was off to see Luna and Charlotte had promised to help Flitwick and Minerva with war repairs. Not ready to admit defeat, Lily sent a Patronus to Harry:

_Hog's Head at 9? – Lily_

To which she received the reply: _Sure thing. See you then. – Harry_

* * *

Harry was already seated at a small table when she entered. He smiled and waved as she approached. They ordered butterbeers and exchanged the usual pleasantries. Leaning forward in his chair, Harry broached the subject of the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. "So, how do you feel about the fact that Snape's coming back to Hogwarts?"

"Fine. In fact, I told him to take the job."

"Oh," said a surprised Harry.

"With everything that's been happening, I agreed with McGonagall that we needed to be mindful of safety when hiring new professors."

"When did you see him?" asked Harry.

"Briefly, during the night of food poisoning. I told him I wouldn't be around much longer and that McGonagall was right to want him there," answered Lily.

"I see. Well, then – do you think it will be strange being around him, after so much time and everything else?" Harry asked.

"Yes, I imagine it will. Especially since no one else knows, and… when I spoke to him, that night, he was very aloof and abrupt actually."

"Hmm. Well that sounds like Snape alright, although I would have thought he'd be different around you."

"Yes. I mean, I guess he was always guarded, even with me, even when we children, but, I there was a time when he let me know much more about him than anyone else. Of course, after our split, it wasn't like that anymore. I guess I should hardly expect we could resume the way things were when we were… best friends."

"Do you want to?" interjected Harry.

"I… don't know. This new… Severus Snape, I'm a tad… scared I guess."

"Hmmm."

"It's silly of me I know, but… there's something very different about him."

"Huh, well, you'd hardly be the first person who finds him to be intimidating."

"I know. It's just, the change in him is unnerving."

"What was he like? Back then, with you?"

"Funny. Moody. Whip smart. Intense. Awkward, but what teenage boys aren't? Had a bit of a temper, but he could be kind too. Perceptive. Curious. I guess part of the reason I liked him was knowing he was a nut that no one else could crack open, that he'd relax a bit around me, but that started to fade as we got older."

Harry listened, and after a few seconds of silence, said, "Well, people change as they get older, and he's not the same person he was at 13, but he's not the same person he was at 18 either… After what he went through, and what he had to do… it's no surprise he's so tightly wound. That last year, he had to keep going completely alone. Everyone thought he'd murdered Dumbledore and one false step with Voldemort could have ruined everything. He's had years of practice hiding what he is thinking and feeling and he had to be… decisive… to stay on."

Lily nodded and leaned back in her chair, "You're right. Thanks Harry, I didn't realize how much I needed to talk to someone about this. I don't want to tell Neville or Charlotte."

"Happy to be of service, mum."

Lily hugged her son, giving him a peck on the cheek before he apparated away and she turned to travel up the path to Hogwarts as snow began to fall.

* * *

**Poor Lily. You'd be shocked too if your childhood best friend grew up to be Alan Rickman while you were "away!"**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN – Nothing you recognize is mine.**

* * *

Severus Snape knew that he was late for class. Unfortunately, the stairways were not cooperating. He needed to reach the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom on the third floor, but somehow every staircase he tried led him down instead. Now he was almost to the dungeons. _Bugger. _Increasingly worried, he looked around for someone to help him. The corridor was unusually empty. The bell must have rung. He was late and he was responsible for a group of students that were four floors above him. _Damn. _Then he caught site of Professor Burbage at the top of the stairs. He quickened his pace, and called out to her, "Charity! What is this nonsense? The stairs are on the blink!" The muggle studies professor didn't turn around or acknowledge that she had heard him. He called out again as the stairs swung suddenly to the left, "Professor Burbage! I need your help!" When the stairs came to a sudden stop, Snape lurched to his knees, but Burbage remained standing. Snape tried to stand, but found that his feet couldn't find purchase. He looked to Burbage again, and saw that she was facing him now from the top of the stairs, but she watched him with only detached interest. "Charity, please!" Snape implored.

It was then he saw that the stairway had been made slick with blood. A dark stain was growing on the front of Burbage's chest as blood continued to run down the stairs. "There isn't enough water in the Black Lake to wash this," she said with disapproval. "Rather, this will turn the lake red, Severus." But it wasn't Charity Burbage who was speaking. It was Lily. Lily Potter, covered in blood, standing at the head of the stairs, calmly appraised Severus Snape.

"Help!" Snape shouted in his empty bedroom at Spinner's End. _A dream. A dream. _Snape sat up in bed. The shirt he'd worn to bed was soaked with perspiration. It was the night before Snape moved back to Hogwarts, and evidently this fact concerned him. Giving up on sleeping for the time being, Snape rose from his bed and resettled himself at his desk. He'd been going through his old defense against the dark arts lesson plans, re-familiarizing himself with the curriculum and making adjustments. Luckily, it was only about a year since he'd taught his last Defense lesson (as far as _he_ was concerned) and he was able to remember most of the changes he had intended to make when he'd still thought there'd be a possibility he'd be teaching the same subject the next year.

As he had worked his way through, however, he realized how the quality of lesson plans significantly decreased as the year wore on. _I suppose being a double agent and the only one who knew about Albus's condition impacted the attention I devoted to my profession. Really, as I think about it, it's a miracle if anyone learned anything at all those last couple years before the final battle; what with a good portion of the faculty either being in the Order or a secret Death Eater at any given time. It might not be so bad – teaching - without everything else on top of it. As long as I manage to not make a fool of yourself around Lily again, that is. _

Severus tried to refocus on the papers in front of him. _Well, at least she liked my potions lesson plans _he thought with a mental eye-roll before resuming his work.

* * *

The next morning, Snape met McGonagall at the beginning of the grounds. The witch looked genuinely glad to see him. Her left hand patted his arm while her right shook his hand. "Welcome back Severus!"

"Thank you, Minerva."

"Let us hope you don't get it in your head to crash though any windows this time."

"Oh, one never knows," Snape smiled.

The two began the trek towards the castle. "Well, first thing is straightening out the housing situation. As you know, Professor Potter is currently living in the suite adjacent to the potions classroom. Since you are to be head of Slytherin house, I expect you'll want one of the other dungeon level locations. One is a bit bigger, so I imagine that will be your choice – I had the house elves begin to prepare it. Let me know if it isn't to your liking. You can ask Potter herself about all your books and whatnot. Lunch will be served at noon, you can join the rest of the faculty then and I can introduce you to everyone, or reintroduce in most cases."

They walked in silence for some time, when the headmistress spoke up again. "You know, I really am glad to get this opportunity to… renew our friendship Severus. It always pained me to think that we parted on such bad terms, before you… died."

"The fact that you despised me my last year was the result of my deliberate actions. It means I was doing my part adequately…. I don't take offense" Snape answered.

"If there's anyone I should be angry at, it's that old fool, not even telling me he was dying!" McGonagall said.

"He never told anyone everything... you were… safer not knowing Minerva."

"That doesn't mean it doesn't sting…. I see now that I never truly knew him. Just the parts he wanted to show me."

Severus remained silent, but nodded. He saw Hagrid approaching across the lawn. The groundskeeper waved at the pair, and hurried over to them.

"Severus! Good to see yeh! It's bin to long friend." At first, it appeared he was about to hug him, but perhaps suddenly remembering the former Headmaster's disposition, refrained. Instead, the big man grasped Severus's shoulders and gave him a good shake.

"Likewise Hagrid," replied Snape.

After finally extricating himself from the pleasantries the half-giant required and being dismissed by the headmistress until lunch, he found himself alone, heading towards his new quarters. When he entered the rooms, the house elves stood at attention. Snape inspected the suite. The furniture and other amenities were satisfactory, but it was otherwise empty. He hadn't decided how and when he would ask for his personal effects back from his previous room. _No rush, _he thought. Satisfied with his new living situation, he left to inspect the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom.

Snape was in the middle of rearranging the seating scheme, desks floating in the air, when he heard a knocking at the door. He turned to see Neville Longbottom and a vaguely familiar female teacher poking their heads into the room.

"Hello sir," Longbottom said, "good to see you here!"

Snape raised his eyebrows.

"Oh, I never liked how Honeycolm had her desks. You are quite right to change it," said the woman.

_Mill? Hobbes? No, that's not it, _thought Snape. _Oh yes…_

"I am glad I have your _approval_ Professor Bentham." _At least these two didn't appear to harbor any designs of embracing him. _

"Ah, well, I suppose we will see you at lunch, Professor," said Neville.

Snape turned back to the classroom, trying a formation with a large space in the center and short rows pushed against the walls on either side. _This will do._

* * *

At lunch, Snape was subjected to the same sort of greeting from the rest of the faculty. Flitwick even slapped his back and called him "my good man!" (he was standing on a chair at the time). Trelawney had shaken his hand and then turned it over as if to give his palm a quick inspection. He snatched his hand away with as much dignity as possible, and saw that most of the teachers had taken their seats. He found himself sitting between Vector and Bentham. Lily sat two seats down, and from what he could gather from the glances he snuck in her direction, she was completely absorbed in her food. Turning to Vector, Snape struck up a conversation about advances in their respective subjects in the years he'd been gone. _Alright, this isn't so terrible. You can manage to ignore each other for a semester. Easy._

* * *

**AN – Ten points to your house if you caught the Shakespeare reference. This chapter is dedicated to any teachers who've started having "Teacher Dreams" as the beginning of the new school year approaches.**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN – Nothing recognizable belongs to me.**

* * *

Snape awoke the next morning in his new bedroom, feeling better than he had on the previous day. Although the situation wasn't ideal, he had to admit that it was probably better that he was doing something rather than rattling around his house and eating take-out. It seemed that the house elves remembered that he required coffee before he'd leave his bed; a fresh cup, charmed to remain warm no doubt, sat on his night stand, the aroma filling the room and improving his disposition even more he drank it. He sat up and picked up the cup, then summoned the _Daily Prophet_. It seemed that the publication believed his reinstatement was of interest its readers. Snape was relieved that the writer had chosen to simply present a direct account instead of sensationalizing his checkered past. The only mention of anything _irregular _regarding the potions master was "Snape has previously taught potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts and succeeded Albus Dumblredore, who was killed in 1997, as Headmaster, a position which he held for a until his own death in the Battle of Hogwarts a year later." _What a diplomatic use of the passive voice, _he thought. _It almost seems as if the Daily Prophet is trying not to appeal to the lowest common denominator but instead aspires to serious journalism. _Perhaps the recent troubles in Ruritania had been enough suggestion of Darkness for one issue.

After finishing his coffee, Snape dressed and flooed into Diagon Alley to collect some last minute supplies. It was a damp and cold day in London, and Snape cast a warming charm on himself, glad he'd decided to wear gloves and a heavy winter robe. He could feel many eyes on him as he went about his errands, but he wasn't particularly bothered. Snape had never been one to put much stock in what masses thought of him, he did wonder about how well Harry Potter had managed to convince them – he was familiar enough with the contents of that Skeeter woman's book to know that it hadn't been an entirely flattering portrait. _Well, you used the possibility that you could be a Death Eater to keep the children in line the first time around, you wouldn't want to find that you suddenly can't control a class once they all know you're not really going to insanguinate them to make a smoothie for the Dark Lord._

Snape's train of thought was interrupted when he turned a corner and was suddenly face to face with Harry Potter, Ginerva Weasley (now Potter?) and some children that presumably belonged to them. Snape would have preferred to pass with a simple nod of the head, but it seemed that he was in for another round of conversation.

"Good morning Professor," Harry Potter said.

"Morning, Potter, Ms…" said Snape.

"Potter these days, Professor," said the former Ms. Weasley. "And these are our children, James, the oldest, Albus the middle, and Lily, our youngest."

_Not terribly original. None of them look quite old enough to be at Hogwarts at least. _Snape wondered how necessary it was that he make a general positive remark about the existence of their offspring. He settled on, "I'm sure you are very pleased."

"Ginny, do you mind go ahead with the children? I'd like to speak with Professor Snape for a moment," Harry asked. Ginny nodded and led the children towards the Weasley's ridiclous shop, although she glanced back at the two men as she left. Snape stood, waiting. "I wanted to tell you, we believe there is someone at Hogwarts who is not what he or she appears to be. A few weeks ago, aurors found evidence that very powerful and obscure magic had taken place. We believed this is what disrupted the wards. At first, my superiors didn't take what McGonagall was saying seriously, but after the poisonings, I didn't think that the disruption in the castle's magic was the result of deterioration or accident. The type of magic we found, it's rare and there isn't anyone in the faculty who's known for that type of thing. It leaves distinctive traces. They were performing some sort of spirit world spellwork."

Snape considered this information for a moment. "Most wizards who meddle in that sort of thing are from the continent – central and eastern Europe, and while it is possible that someone from Britain could have learned it, it would have had to have been taught – the techniques aren't the sort of thing you can describe in books. Of course you know all that I imagine."

"I wanted you to be aware – and on the look out. If you find out anything, or even have a suspicion, please let me know. And this conversation, it has to be completely confidential. I'm not really supposed to tell anyone outside my department and even there only those who are assigned to the case – McGonagall knows, but no one else."

"Forgive me if I am not shocked by your elastic interpretations of the rules Mr. Potter."

Harry rolled his eyes in response, realizing too late that it probably made him look like a surly teenager. He continued on, "I appreciate this, sir."

"Good bye, Mr. Potter."

"Take care, Professor Snape."

* * *

Snape went back to his classroom upon arriving in Hogwarts and continued to prepare his classroom and then reorganized the storage closet in the back. This Honeycolm woman had been lacking in that respect; dangerous items were mixed among harmless objects, there was no discernable pattern to the arrangement._ Best to assume anything in here could hurt you unless you've completely verified it's safe, _he thought. Not surprisingly the task was slow going. Severus faced the fact that he wouldn't be able to finish that day, and he'd have to lock the closet and continue at another moment. He didn't like leaving things have done, but there was no point in staying up all night before the first day of term. Casting a Tempus charm, he saw that dinner was still going on. He could probably still get some warm food if he hurried. Of course, the house elves could make meals for professors who were absent, but they were never as elaborate as what was served at full meals.

When he entered the great hall, he noted that it appeared that most of the students had already returned. He realized that for the first time since his first year, he'd have to learn the names of ALL seven years of students. It was a bit unsettling to know that any student could take a spoon and launch potatoes at him, and he wouldn't even be able to identify the culprit by name. _Perhaps some charms to aid memorization are in order, a few tonight to know the seating charts, a few tomorrow evening for the faces, you've got to start strong with this term, no one here has had you, they only know you by reputation, any sign of weakness will be magnified in such a situation, although it might help if… Snape's train of thought came to a screeching halt as if someone had pulled a large lever marked "emergency." _Only one seat was available at the faculty table. Next to Lily.

* * *

Fifteen minutes after the start of dinner, Professor Potter was aware that Professor Snape had not yet arrived. _He's probably not coming. It's not his rotation day, but you'd think that he'd be here being his first day back with most of the students. _Believing that he wasn't going to appear, Lily relaxed. Only a minute later, she sensed the energy in the Great Hall shift suddenly. Although the student's hadn't stopped talking, instead of the usual casual chit-chat interspersed with mastication the air was filled with purposeful whispers and stars. Utensils lay on the table of still in paused hands. Lily decided not to look at the focus of the student's attention. She knew already. As she continued to work on her salad, she noticed that the focus of the eyes was moving closer to her. The seat next to her was open. Ah. And it was an end seat. She wouldn't be able to avoid talking to him without cutting him off from table conversation. She finally turned to look at him when she heard the chair dragged back.

As she looked up at him, she caught his eye for a moment. Before he could look away, she gave a smile and a "good evening Professor," hoping that neither seemed forced.

"Evening," he replied before taking his seat and surveying the great hall. His posture in his chair conveyed complete control, awareness and ease. His face, as usual, showed nothing. When the food appeared in front of him, he handled his utensils efficiently but gracefully. _When did he learn how to eat in such a high class way? _Lily wondered (the young Severus's table manners had left something to be desired). _Well, there's one benefit of his friendship with Malfoy, probably, _she mused as she looked away, not wanting to be caught starting at Severus's plate and started eating again.

Surprisingly, Severus broke the silence. "I spoke with your son today, in Diagon Alley."

"Oh really? How did he look? That job, sometimes it's too much, it can be quite a drain."

"Well, he looks rather aged to me, but I am hardly in a position to say anything. To me, he was a malnourished teenager, living in the woods, a few months ago. He looked tired then too. The bo-, Harry seems to be chronically overtaxed. A completely voluntary condition, however, at this point."

A Lily's mouth flickered with a genuine smile. "Yes, you're right, it's his choice. I only mean, well, I wonder…"

Snape waited, looking directly at her for the first time since he had first sat down.

"I wonder if things aren't… worse than usual at the ministry. Of course, Harry isn't allowed to tell us anything, but we're not stupid either, Ginny and I, I mean."

"The ability to hide his emotion was never among his many good qualities."

"Well, we can't all be so _talented_." The words escaped before Lily realized how sarcastic she sounded. Snape continued to chew his food, still looking at her, and didn't show any sign of having noticed. Lily continued on, "I mean, well, it is strange that you knew him when he was young, saw him grow up…. And I missed all that."

At that, Snape looked away, and placed his silverware on his plate. "Excuse me," he said, moving his chair back as if he was preparing to leave. Just then, McGonagall rose and addressed the students. After welcoming them back and making some other announcements, she gestured to Snape and introduced him, bidding him to rise. Snape stood, nodded once, and sat down. Lily clapped along with the rest of the school.

After returning to her rooms, she ran over the conversation in her head. After all this time, she was suddenly blabbing to him as if nothing had happened. When they'd been friends, she'd done this a lot. If she had become particularly neurotic or emotional over something, she'd fret or fume while he'd been a mostly silent listener. She had known that he'd put up with that sort of thing much longer than anyone else, that'd been why she'd relied on him that way. She also didn't want anyone else knowing how worried and nervous she could be; it wouldn't have fit with the Gryffindor bravado she'd projected. And not only had she suddenly reverted to that old role, she'd been so informal as to give him a hard time. It had only been when he hadn't responded in kind like the old Severus would have that she realized she'd overstepped.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Nothing in here is mine. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

* * *

Snape was in a particularly foul mood after dinner. _How stupid can I be? Insulting her own son! What was I thinking! He may be a foolish boy… person, but that's hardly the best way to win back a woman…._ Snape cursed internally as he made his way back to his rooms; students instinctively leapt out of the way as he strode through the halls.

If he were perfectly honest with himself, he'd say he'd gained a grudging respect for Harry. He certainly had proved his mettle, and for some reason, he didn't seem as full of himself as he once had although he'd had expected the opposite considering he'd defeated Voldemort directly. While he didn't seem himself ever becoming friends with Harry (Potter certainly had his limitations), he'd insulted her son mostly out of habit and not genuine malice._ And she was right to be sad that she never got to really raise Harry. It was amazing he hadn't turned out worse with Tuney and her imbecile husband raising him – If she'd loved him enough to die for him, then it must tear her up that she couldn't be there all along – knowing what happened to him especially. And there I was forgetting that maybe she just might feel some maternal pride in her son. I must have sounded like I was bragging about myself. What a git I seemed. How is it that you always came up with the right thing to say to the Dark Lord, but I end up putting my foot in my mouth around Lily every time I talk to her? Pretty soon I will have regressed back to the pathetic boy she knew._

_And worst of all, _he thought_, she was __confiding_ _in me! In the years she was gone, how many times did I wish she were there again, just talking to me like that. Worried over some trivial thing, my telling her it was silly, not to worry…. How much I wanted her coming to _me _when she was upset like she used to. Sev, always sarcastic, but always in her corner…. _ This line of thought caused him to remember the series of incidents in his youth when they'd truly embraced. Not a brief friendly hugs, but the times he really held her.

First year, she'd found him crying. He'd just learned that Hogwarts wouldn't be the refuge he'd believed it would be ever since he'd learned about it years ago. She'd wrapped her arms around his torso and squeezed. He'd gotten snot on her robes, but she hadn't minded.

Second year, they'd finally made a difficult potion after several failures. She'd lifted him a bit, arms pulling him up at the armpits. He wouldn't get a growth spurt for another year and a half and she towered over him most of the time.

Third year, after Goyle had called her a mudblood, he'd found her alone in an unused classroom. "Forget them Lily. He knows he's no good at anything. He's just jealous because you're ten times better than he is at everything," he'd said. She'd taken a shuddering breath and turned towards him, wrapping her arms under his and around him, her head on his shoulder, puffy eyes closed and buried in his sweater. He hadn't relaxed or even wrapped his own arms around her, but instead sat rigidly, and continued to talk. "Everyone with half a brain knows you're the best in our year – even Slughorn thinks so! Don't let that pathetic ogre make you feel bad about yourself."

"I know… I know… it's just… it doesn't matter how well I do, how hard I work, someone can always just cut me down – I'm always having to prove over and over that I even belong here! I can't mess up or get emotional – they'll say 'we told you so about those muggleborns!' I can't let them know how much it hurts me, to be called that – please don't say you saw me like this Sev? Not to anyone! I can't give him the satisfaction!"

"Of course, I understand – you're secrets are safe with me Lily," he'd promised.

Twice fourth year. Once on her birthday. He'd found an out of print book he knew she'd like and gotten her favorite type of biscuit from a muggle shop in Cokesworth. The second was when she'd spent spring break away with her family. She'd come back unusually melancholy and when she'd seen him, she'd put her arms around his neck and simply said "Oh it's good to be back! I missed you the whole time!"

Once the summer before fifth year. He'd been quarrelling with his father again and shown up at her house at dinnertime. Ms. Evans acted as if it was perfectly normal and pleasant to have an uninvited guest drop in and managed to stretch the meal to feed four. Afterwards, they'd been sitting in her room, listening to records, and he realized he hadn't responded to something she'd just asked him. All of a sudden, she'd moved over and sat beside him and hugged him. He'd pressed her tightly to him, lowering his head to her shoulder, her hair on his cheek. He'd inhaled and exhaled loudly – part of him wanted her to realize he was smelling _her_, realize what his fierce grip on her meant, realize that as he ran his hand up and down on her back that he was becoming hard underneath his jeans. _Kiss her. Do it now!_ He'd told himself, but he hadn't.

Once fifth year, she'd become upset about something in the _Prophet_, something about Voldemort. She hadn't wanted to talk about it, but he had followed her to the astronomy tower anyways. They'd sat in silence for some time, and then she'd put her hands on either side of his head, looked up at him and just said "Oh Sev, please, I'm so worried about you."

"About me? I'm not in any danger!" Of course he knew what she was talking about. It wasn't the first time the topic had come up, but this time, she'd brought his head down to her clavicle and gently stroked the back of his head. He'd felt something wet on his forehead, and realized she was crying.

* * *

Snape's preparation paid off. His first day back in the classroom went as smoothly as could be expected. Memorizing the seating charts had been a good idea. The students actually thought he knew their names – forgetting he'd put them in those seats at the beginning of class. _Only 179 to go…._

As the week went on, it became clear that the current third years in Gryffindor would be the most challenging of the lot. William MacIntosh, a muggle-born from the look of things, had been particularly cheeky, raising his hand and asking purposefully stupid questions. The slight grin and the way he tried to catch the eye of his friends, especially Robert Clancy. His hair was brown and he had a slightly seedy look about him that his school robes couldn't completely obscure.

Clancy, on the other hand, was the opposite of his cronies. He stood out to Snape because it was clear he was trying to be as unassuming as possible. Following instructions immediately and without flourish, not reacting to Robert's immaturity, leaving immediately after class was over. Looking at Snape as he spoke, his eyes blank, showing no sign that he was attempting to follow the content of the lesson, although he produced a perfectly acceptable Protego charm when it was his turn. _What are you up to I wonder? _Thought Snape. _For all his bluster, I don't believe MacIntosh is the brains of this operation. _Snape decided he would seek out information on that crowd from the other teachers as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

* * *

Friday evening, he found himself outside the door to his old rooms. _Screw your courage to the sticking place! This shouldn't be difficult. If I could spend all those hours at Voldemort's side, I can certainly maintain my composure around Lily…._ Snape's purpose was twofold. He wanted to see about his things, and he thought that perhaps, if the time was right, he could… talk to her. Nothing serious, but perhaps someone needed to… clear the air. He knocked. Neville Longbottom opened the door.

Snape's frustration and panic must have shown on his face because Longbottom also looked alarmed. Regaining his composure as much as possible, Snape said,"I'm sorry to have bothered you. I didn't realize Professor Potter had company. Good night."

"Oh, no, no! Don't go on our account! Please come in!" Longbottom opened the door wider, revealing Bentham and Lily in the sitting room. "You most definitely qualify for membership," said Charlotte, rising from her chair.

"Membership?" Snape had good reason to be wary of joining organizations.

"The Young Faculty Club. No one over forty allowed," answered Longbottom.

"The rule _used_ to be thirty-five, but well…" said Charlotte with a self-deprecating shrug.

"You're what, thirty-seven, Professor?" asked Longbottom. Snape realized at that point they'd all been drinking. The bottle, glasses and Longbottom's out of character boldness all pointed to it.

"Thirty-eight," he answered.

"Thirty-nine."

Snape turned and looked at Lily.

"Today's your birthday. It's January ninth today," she said.

"Oh, yes, how… silly, to have… forgotten."

"And Blot always brings people back on the date they died, so you've been alive for thirty-nine years," she continued.

Snape realized how strange this conversation must look to Longbottom and Bentham. "You always amazed me with how you could memorize so much."

Lily looked confused for a moment, then said, "Oh, right. Well, yours was always easy – How could I forget another January birthday?"

"Ooooooh, that's right, I keep forgetting you two were in school together," said tipsy Neville.

"Well, thank you for… reminding me Professor, now, I really must go."

"You can't go NOW!" Bentham nearly shrieked.

"C'mon, it is your birthday! Unless you've got other pressing plans, come have a drink with us, sir!" said Longbottom.

Snape glanced at Lily again. She was smiling and nodding, although it was impossible to say what she thought of the whole thing. Before he could say something else, she sprung up from her chair saying "Ah, let me go grab another glass and make you a drink…."

So Snape had no choice but to sit down, although not in his usual chair (Longbottom was sitting in that) and wait for his drink. Longbottom and Bentham resumed a discussion they'd been having before he'd arrived about some romantic drama amongst some of the Ravenclaws. Snape listened as the subject of conversation turned to their peers. He gathered that Longbottom was seeing the Lovegood girl. Interesting. He realized that he suddenly felt much more relaxed.

* * *

**AN: So, I'm a fan of awkward (sexual?) tension and I am glad to see I have some like-minded readers. If you like REALLY LONG drawn out tension and you're not opposed to ADMM, then I can't recommend "Resolving a Misunderstanding" by MMADfan enough. If you like British period dramas, watch "The Remains of the Day" (on Amazon Prime for free!) but make sure to bring tissues. I don't know how many days of the school year there are at Hogwarts, but I just pretended they go for 180 like US public schools because I'm too lazy to do any research on British schools and the Hogwarts yearly calendar isn't definite enough to tell exactly. **


	13. Chapter 13

_What does he want?_ Lily wondered. _He clearly hadn't come to join their gathering. Probably just his things… _Lily wasn't sure if she was glad that her company had postponed the tête-à-tête, whatever he'd been planning. Returning from the kitchen with a glass, she asked, "What would you like? Scotch, bourbon, port, or sherry?"

"Scotch is fine. Thank you," Snape answered before turning back to the other two.

Lily felt especially clumsy with the ice tongs, but eventually managed to get two cubes into the glass, and poured the whisky. Although he had looked momentarily unsure when he'd first entered, by the time she handed him his glass, Snape was leaning back in the chair, looking as comfortable as if it was his (and granted, it had been). Lily sat again on her sofa next to Charlotte, and took a sip of her own drink.

Addressing Snape, Charlotte said, "So, I never took you for a Allman Brothers and Stones fan. Or Patti Smith either."

"Excuse me?" said Snape.

Looking sheepish, Neville explained, "So, when Lily moved in… we didn't think you were coming back and we kind of… went through your cupboards. Snape's expression, wasn't reassuring, but Neville continued anyways, "and uh, we thought they were just old wizard music records, but then we played them… and saw you'd changed the labels and it was all muggle music. I mean, I didn't know you listened to _muggle_ music. I guess, I dunno, I thought you spent your free time reading about potions or something."

"Unlike some of us, I wasn't able to 'stick it to Voldemort,' as you might say, by vandalizing the hallways with slogans. I had Simon and Garfunkel. Even I needed the occasional small rebellion," Snape answered.

"What… would have happened if they'd been found?" asked Charlotte.

"Oh, I don't think I would have been killed over that, but it wouldn't have been pleasant," he answered casually. "Riddle, didn't approve of any signs of muggle culture among his followers he was… quite clear on that point."

At this point, Lily was mortified. For someone as private as Severus, he wouldn't appreciate knowing that she'd let someone rummage through his things. _Shit. I should apologize about that as soon as I get the chance…. Especially considering what we both know of the history of some of those records. _

"And you SMOKED!" exclaimed an unusually bold Neville.

"Cigarettes are commonly known to have a calming affect, Mr. Longbottom…. I wasn't terribly concerned with my long-term health at the time."

_Shoot me now, _thought Lily.

If Snape was irritated about the violation of his privacy, he didn't show it. In fact, he looked completely at ease, his right arm extended over the arm of the chair, the half full glass resting in his palm. Occasionally he raised it to his mouth to drink. He tolerated Neville and Charlotte's questions and conversation with a detached amusement. Lily, on the other hand, felt that every time she spoke betrayed how anxious she was. In a lull in the conversation, she decided to try addressing him directly.

"I really can't tell you how helpful the lesson plans were – I know Slughorn never managed to cover as much as you did - they're so well chose and efficient – the way you review old skills and concepts with new potions that include the objectives from the week every Friday."

"Well, they were the cumulative product of several years – I'm glad that you found them to be helpful."

"Is it true you're glad to be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts instead?" she asked.

"Yes. Potions is a… narrow subject. Although fascinating, there's nothing interesting about teaching basic potions to the lower years. Defense Against the Dark Arts is… demands… concentration and discipline even in for the simplest spells, in addition to being more practical for most of our students… or at least that was the case for some time," Snape answered.

"Let's hope that's not true any time soon," commented Charlotte.

"Hear, hear!" proclaimed Neville, raising his glass a bit too fast, causing some of the liquid to spill over the side. Noticing this, but not particularly bothered, he continued, "Well, I've managed to get by without brewing a potion since 5th year… and I've had to cast defensive spells since, so you might be right about practicality, but I might be a special case."

"That's one way to put it," said Snape.

Neville rolled his eyes, but evidence of a grin appeared as he leaned forward. "So… you have to tell us about the _flying."_

"Yes! I'm interested too! There's so many theories about how some wizards can achieve flight, but no recent cases… do you think you could… teach someone else?" said Charlotte.

"Possibly," said Snape. "If you think it's the same as truly flying like on a broom or like a bird animagus, you will be disappointed I'm afraid. It's simply momentum and mass displacement – unfortunately I cannot hover or change direction. I'm really just leaping, with… assistance."

"I bet your students would be interested in learning how to do it," said Neville.

"I'd only consider it with my N.E.W.T level classes, it's much too advanced and… dangerous to attempt with younger students. In addition, I am not certain of the best way to teach it at the present," said Snape. "I haven't completely ruled out the possibility, however."

"Why don't you teach us then? See what works and what doesn't. Then you'll be ready to teach the students," said Charlotte.

Snape looked momentarily surprised.

W_alked into that one, _thought Lily.

"I will consider your suggestion, Professor," said Charlotte.

"You'd really agree to try to teach me again?" said Neville said quietly.

Snape turned and looked at Neville and said, "There's no reason to believe you'd be as incomp- I mean… you've demonstrated proficiency in combative spellwork."

"Oh gosh… it's a lot later than I thought. Luna will be wondering where I am," said Neville suddenly. "I'm going to head out! Goodnight everybody! Happy birthday Professor Snape!" he continued as he rushed out the door.

"I should be leaving too. I have to be up early tomorrow," said Charlotte. "Happy birthday, and don't think we won't hold you to your promise professor!"

And they were alone again.

* * *

Snape had been distracted throughout the evening by furnishings in the sitting room. His furnishings. Granted, there had been some additions here and there – but the colors, furniture, paintings, drapes – all the same as when he'd left. _What's going on here? _

When he realized that Longbottom and Bentham were leaving, he suddenly felt nervous again. He decided that to retreat too quickly would make him appear weak. _Sit there and finish your drink. You'll be out of here soon enough. _Lily had started putting away the bottles and glasses from her guests, her back to him. Snape was observing her, trying to gauge her mood when she turned to him and said, "So, did you have something you wanted to take care of when you came here?"

"Yes," he answered. "I would like to retrieve any personal effects – particularly my books - whatever is still here."

"Yes, of course, just a moment. I shrank your clothing, I can get that for you right away." Lily disappeared into the bedroom and reemerged, a levitated chest following her. "Do you want to take your furniture? We can shrink in order to move it out."

"That won't be necessary. The rooms I have now are fully furnished."

"But, there are some nice pieces. Are you sure?"

"Quite sure. Thank you." Snape took over the levitation spell, and prepared to leave. _Stay cool and get out._

"Severus."

Snape stopped.

"Why are you…. Does it have to be like this?" she asked.

"It was my understanding that we weren't… that you did not desire any familiarity with me. You were _extremely _clear on that point."

"Oh Sev, I never… I _missed _you_ every_ day. You can't think… I couldn't be your friend because of what you were _doing_. And that's over now… you were on our side, you are on our side… If you don't want to be friends, that is your choice, but I… we've hurt each other enough already…."

She was crying.

Snape lowered his items back to the ground. "While it is true that my allegiance to the Dark Lord ended, and I carried out Dumbledore's plans until the end, that does not negate the harm I did to many, including your friends and family when I still believed in what the Dark Lord wanted." Snape stepped toward her menacingly. "Does it bother you that your _husband_ is dead because I wanted to ingratiate myself with the Dark Lord? Or that I stood and watched while countless people suffered and _died_, at the hand of the Death Eaters? Or that sometimes _I_ was the one torturing and killing? That I _wanted_ to have that power? That I sought it out?"

He was standing very close to her now. "Where are your principles? Where is your sense of decency?

"Sev, please… If I could just…"

"You disappoint me, Lily Potter."

Snape had continued to move forward during the confrontation while she had stepped backward. When Lily back into the sofa she almost tipped backwards, but her left arm shot out and caught the arm of the sofa, and she pushed herself back up. She had been looking at the floor, but she raised her eyes to his.

"I am not your conscious Severus Snape. I want your friendship, I can forgive you, but you have to give me a chance." She was standing now with the back of her legs against the couch and Snape looming over her.

"Might I ask, what do you hope to gain by that?" said Snape.

"Your friendship is an end in itself, Severus," she answered. "Ever since Harry showed me the memories, I've wished I could go back and change the past – if I had known – if you were willing to fight for me after I was dead, why couldn't I convince you when I was alive? Believe me Severus – I've mourned you – mourned us – mourned the loss of what could have been every day since. I would do anything to fix it."

"Anything? You want to know what you could have done differently? How you could have saved me?"

Lily nodded, tears streaking her face.

"Nothing." Snape spat. "Nothing you would have done could have changed my course. It's quite the paradox, but nothing but your death would have convinced me. Alive, you will never be enough." Snape words seemed to burrow their way into her stomach.

Lily responded quietly, "Not enough? What do you mean?"

Snape softened his voice,"I couldn't, I can't be your friend Lily. Friendship wasn't… enough anymore, by the end. I was, I am… unable to simply be your _friend. _I'm sorry."

"I see," Lily said. She was silent for a moment, then added, "I… can only offer my friendship, and my forgiveness at this point…If that could be enough _for now…_ then I would be very happy if you could… try."

"Enough for now?"

"I'm sorry Sev."

Snape closed his eyes. For a moment, it looked as if he were going to cry as well. Instead, he eventually opened his eyes again and said, "There's no reason to apologize, Lily. I… never… I have no right to demand anything of you. You are… I am sorry I was so terrible to you just now. I was wrong to try to push away your offer of friendship."

"So we are… friends?"

"Yes, if you'll have me."

Lily smiled. "I am so glad Sev."

Snape smiled weakly as well, and conjured a box of tissues from somewhere, offering it to Lily. "You should be. Look how much fun you've been having."

Lily gave a tearful (and snotty) chortle, and reached for the tissues. "A regular barrel of monkeys you are, Severus."

* * *

**AN: I don't own anything recognizable. This chapter took a lot more revision than usual. Hopefully ya'll find it to be acceptable. I tried to keep it as plausible and in character as possible. Except Drunk!Neville, who may be my favorite person in this story to write and I refuse to apologize for his being OOC. Thanks to everyone who's left reviews. I really appreciate it and it keeps me motivated.**

**Finally, Real Life is about to recommence in earnest, so expect about one more update in the week, and then I probably won't update until December. I'm not abandoning this fic, but just going on hiatus. **


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: So, as alluded to in the previous chapter, this will be the last update for some time. I have a plan for where this story is going ****(there is some PLOT in this chapter even!) **so I will not abandon it! Promise! Thanks to those who reviewed since the last shout-out, duj, rubyrosa, leila, Alethea, Vidicon, Lon, Everlyn, ACE Albert and kittyhawk09

* * *

Lily sat down and blew her nose. Snape stood in front of her, unsure of whether to join her on the couch, remain standing or sit in one of the chairs. "Would you like me to leave now?"

Summoning a wastebasket, Lily said, "No, no… in a moment I'll help you move your things back." She blew her nose a second time, and dabbed her eyes.

Snape nodded, and looked around the room as she composed herself. He needed to look away or else the desire to gather her in his arms would have been too strong. _I need to get my emotions under control, _he thought. _I can't keep swinging between anger and devotion if I am going to be around her. If I continue to let my frustration dominate me, I will lose her again. _

Lily stood and said, "I'll go and fetch the last out of the bedroom – can you handle all that on your own?" motioning towards the items Snape had been levitating.

"I should be fine," said Snape.

"Good. Alright then," said Lily. And so, the pair set off toward his rooms, floating boxes following behind them. The halls were empty; it was well past curfew for the students.

"So," began Lily, "how's it been adjusting to the time jump? I remember feeling very disorientated for the longest time – like this wasn't the real world, this was just a dream and I'd wake up soon and the war would still be on."

"Yes, I'd say it was… similar for me. I'd say it is a bit unnerving having your former students close the gap in age. I think I might have spotted grey hairs on Longbottom's head," said Snape.

"Try being a grandmother to a 10 year old at 26" said Lily. "And of course, clothing changed quite a bit when I was gone. Took a while to figure out what was in style. I guess if you always dress in all black robes, it avoids that issue a bit."

"Indeed. Black is always in style," Snape said with mock seriousness.

Lily smiled and realized Snape had smiled back. Something like pain twisted in Lily's gut. She realized she hadn't seen him really smile since they'd been friends. _I can still do that much, _she thought. She glanced behind her to check that the levitated objects were still there just in time to see a box hit something. Something transparent that said "Oof!"

Snape spun around and shouted "Homenum Revlio!"

"Mr. Clancy" said Lily. "Can you tell me what you are doing in this hallway?"

"Sorry Professor, I… was getting a book from a friend in Ravenclaw," said Robert Clancy.

"20 points from your house," said Lily. "Professor Snape and I will escort you back to your house."

"Who were you meeting with Mr. Clancy?" asked Snape.

"I'd rather not say, Professor," said Robert.

"20 points from Gryffindor for defiance," said Snape.

Robert didn't respond to Snape, but instead indicated he was ready to set off towards Gryffindor tower. The three walked in silence. After the entrance to the common room had shut behind Robert, Lily turned to Snape and shook her head.

"What's your… opinion of that boy?" asked Snape as they turned and headed back down to the dungeon level, their detour complete.

Lily cast a privacy spell and answered, "I dunno. Bit of a puzzle honestly. His friends are all a bunch of jokers. He's… much more unassuming, but you can tell he is very aware of what's going on."

"Indeed. Some students can't help but broadcast their misbehavior. With that type, you know what's what. A reserved but cunning like Clancy, however, well, he could be harmless or he could be… otherwise."

"Right. I mean, he's only 13 though, Sev. How much damage could he do?" asked Lily.

"Riddle created his 'diary' at a young age," responded Snape.

"Well, I certainly don't see any signs the boy is the next great Dark wizard. Being sneaky doesn't mean he'll automatically be sadistic, violent or drawn to the Dark Arts – really Sev - he's a child," chastised Lily.

"Of course… I didn't mean to indicate I thought that he was those things, merely that, circumstances being what they are at the school, perhaps Mr. Clancy is someone we should… supervise… a little more closely. I would very much like to know what he was up to tonight," said Snape.

"I suppose that's why you're here. I can't complain when you start doing… your thing," said Lily.

"He reminds me of someone… something in his speech patterns. I can't quite place who though," said Snape. "That's neither here nor there of course."

They arrived at Snape's door soon after, and he opened it. They settled the packages in his sitting room. Lily closed the door behind her.

"Severus, I'm sorry about… the records and stuff," said Lily.

"The records?" asked Snape.

"I know you're probably not happy I let people see your things – I just – didn't think you'd ever be in a position to feel uncomfortable about it. They've been amusing themselves with using the 'Big Bad Snape's" things ever since I moved in their – not terribly mature I know – and they got a kick out of the records especially – I didn't want to say anything about, us and those albums, and I ended up just letting it go… and it was kinda nice to hear them again – it brought back some happy memories from before" explained Lily.

"I spend years cultivating the most fearsome reputation among my students and you go and dismantle while I'm away," he said with exaggerated sternness. "What shall I do to restore it? Hmmm?" he raised his eyebrows.*

"I'm sure you'll come up with something," Lily answered with a small grin.

* * *

_What just happened?_ Snape wondered as the door closed behind Lily. _So much for keeping my distance. She's brought me to heel so simply. I'm helpless against her smile – a few kind words and you've been reduced to a blabbering idiot. At the end where she was joking with me - I really must have been giddy – I didn't remember to be irritated that Longbottom and Bentham have been rooting around in my things!_

He'd been so sure that friendship between them was doomed – he'd never be satisfied, and she'd never be at ease. "_For Now." Damn her. "Enough For Now," she'd said. Did she really mean that mere friendship could be a preliminary stage? Could she see me as more than... a friend? She'd never shown any sign of attraction to me before, but that was the only way to interpret what she'd said, right? _

Snape cast a spell to locate his favorite nightshirt among the boxes (he wasn't fond of the new one he'd purchased. It just wasn't as comfortable). Opening the box, he located the nightshirt among other clothing and cast an enlarging charm to return it to its original size. The speed with which the shirt popped back indicated it hadn't been shrunk for very long. _Hmm, Odd, _Snape thought. He carried the nightshirt into his bedroom and removed his robes and under shirt. Naked except for his underwear, he picked up the nightshirt and put his arms through the sleeves, about to pull it over his head. He stopped. _Couldn't be, _he thought. Bringing the fabric to his face, he inhaled deeply. _Oh. _The nightshirt didn't smell like the rest of his clothing. A stronger aroma, a more recent scent reached his senses. _This shirt smells like Lily. That must mean she wore it. _

_Lily wore my nightshirt. Lily wore my nightshirt in bed. Lily wore my nightshirt in my bed. Lily wore my nightshirt and nothing else in my bed._

_Bloody Hell. _

Snape knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep anytime soon.

* * *

After she'd left Snape in his rooms, Lily was able to slow down her racing thoughts and think about what had happened. She'd been surprised when he'd said that he wanted more from her than friendship. He'd been so detached until then – to hear him address it directly had been… odd. _You shouldn't be so surprised, _thought Lily. _You knew even before Harry showed you the memories that he was attracted to you. Granted, you wouldn't have guessed how deep those feelings ran – but Severus as a young teenager had been fairly transparent to you in that regard – you noticed his eyes when he didn't think you were paying attention – you noticed the nervousness that had crept into his interactions with you as you got older. And there was that one time in your room you thought he was about to try to snog you. You noticed and took for granted that he'd accept whatever relationship you deigned to grant him._

_And you know the bargain you struck with him tonight. There's an expiration date on this friendship – you can't resume your relationship with him in good faith unless you think you might some day be able to… reciprocate. _Lily felt that feeling in her stomach again. _You have to think about it Lily – you have to admit it to yourself at least before you go dragging Severus into this. _

_I'm attracted to him, _she silently said. _I'm attracted to this dangerous, intelligent, intense man who is different and yet the same as the Severus Snape I knew. And I am scared of what this will lead to. I don't know him well enough anymore to start a relationship, but I can't help feeling that draw to him. He scares me and arouses me at the same time. _

Although Lily had gone on some dates since her return, she hadn't had any sexual experiences to speak of since James. _Maybe being cooped up in Hogwarts is part of it – I might have started fancying Hagrid eventually – It's not right to drag Severus into this because I'm… lonely. This isn't a time when you can let your nether regions do the thinking Lily_! A wicked thought asked_, I wonder, what would happen if I turned around, went back to his room and tried to seduce him_? _Nothing good! Nothing good! Back to your room Professor Potter, _she chastised herself.

Trying to clear her mind of that topic for the time being, she thought about previous birthdays they'd celebrated. _Too bad we just made up today. It would have been nice to get him something for his birthday. Giving him back his own clothing hardly counts. _Suddenly, inspiration stuck. _Perfect! Oh I am so glad I thought of this! _Lily quickened her steps, grinning with satisfaction.

* * *

About forty minutes after he'd returned to his rooms, a knock startled Snape from his "thoughts." _What could that be at this hour? _he thought. Whoever was at his door knocked again. Snape scrambled out of bed, and put a robe over his newly repossessed nightshirt. He hurried towards the door, the memories of past night emergencies at Hogwarts causing his heart to beat faster. Throwing open the door, he was surprised to see Lily again.

"Yes?" he managed.

"Oh, uh. I hope I didn't wake you. I just, uh, realized what I should give you for your birthday – and I didn't want to give it to you a day late," she said.

"It's already 2 am," he observed as she stepped inside.

"I'm sorry. Here." She handed him a book shaped package wrapped in plan brown paper. Snape took it, and slid a finger under the seam, opening the package to reveal a plain black notebook.

"Is this… my old notebook?"

"Yes."

"But you threw yours away."

"Yes, but I redid the charm to link it to a new notebook of mine. Works the same as the old pair we had."

Snape didn't say anything. He realized he might cry if he wasn't careful. Instead, he opened the notebook to the first blank page, flattening it on a table in his sitting room. Summoning a quill and ink, he tentatively began to write on the right page. When he finished, he stood up and looked at Lily. "Good night Lily."

"Good night Severus. And happy birthday."

When she returned to her rooms, she went directly to her notebook and opened it to the first page. On the left hand side, in his distinctive handwriting, it read

"Lily,

This is the best gift I've received in many years. Thank you.

- Severus"

* * *

*obligatory description in fanfiction featuring Snape.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note: I own nothing recognizable.**

**Reviews are always appreciated!**

* * *

_Saturday! _Lily thought as she woke up. The luxury of waking up naturally was well appreciated by the potions mistress. She had things to do – exams to grade, supplies to sort, catalogue and separate – but she could stay in bed a little longer. Her mood was particularly optimistic after the previous night. She still felt tentative about resuming their friendship, but she was happy the days of avoidance would end. _So, what do I do to spend time with him? I can't very well ask him to study in the library like we used to… And my own birthday is coming up. I suppose I should invite him, although I wonder whether he'd even enjoy himself around all those Weasleys…. If I don't, it'll look like I'm snubbing him. _

When Lily arrived, breakfast was close to ending. Severus wasn't there. _Probably already come and gone, _she thought. She was irritated that this bothered her. _You got up late – you can't expect him to hang around hoping you'll show up._ Instead, she read the day's Prophet. More talk of Ruritania and what they were calling now the "dragon wars."

* * *

Snape hadn't been able to fall asleep for a while that night, his mind turning over the events and possible reinterpretations. Regardless, he felt rested when he woke up (uncharacteristically late). _It's probably a good thing I do not have a pensieve, otherwise I'd have spent the night analyzing that conversation, _he thought. As he drank his morning coffee, he opened some letters that had arrived for him at breakfast. One was from Draco and his wife, inviting him to dinner at his home. _It has been a few weeks since I've seen him. How fortunate that since I live at Hogwarts now, I have an excuse for never reciprocating these little dinner parties of his. _Snape dashed off a reply and sealed it. On his way to the Owlrey, he met Bentham going in the opposite direction.

"Morning Professor Snape. I'll have you know Neville and I intend to hold you to your promise."

Snape was momentarily at a loss. _Oh_ _Right. Flying. _

_"_We shall see. Good day Professor Bentham," he answered as he continued on his way. _Wonderful. This renewed friendship might be more taxing than I anticipated if it necessitates my tolerating the whims and company of those two…. Then again, I've endured worse. _

When he returned to his rooms, he couldn't help but check the notebook immediately. He'd really wanted to wander around the castle, hoping to bump into Lily in person, but he'd dismissed the idea as too obvious and too pathetic. _At least she won't know if I look at this thing every 5 minutes. _He flipped it open to the bookmarked page. There was a new entry.

"Sev,

Glad you like the gift. I was pretty proud of myself when I thought of it! Now you see why I needed to bother you in the middle of the night. I'm sorry I missed you at breakfast. I ate late. You must have already left. Hopefully I'll see you at lunch?

- Lily "

Snape realized that his pulse was racing. _How embarrassing _– _be still my beating heart, really, _he thought. Once he'd sufficiently calmed, he wrote his response:

"Lily,

I have to admit I woke up too late for breakfast – I will see you at lunch.

- Severus"

Snape then shut the book and set it aside, willing himself to focus on other things until lunch.

* * *

When Lily arrived at lunch, Snape was already there, and the seat next to him was empty. He caught her eye as she approached and nodded. She sat next to him.

"Hello," said Lily with a smile.

"Afternoon," said Snape.

"How was your morning?"

"Unpacked my clothing, graded some essays. You?"

"Same. Grading – tiding up," Lily answered. "Fairly uneventful."

"Uneventful isn't bad thing."

"No, I suppose not – I know what you mean, like I was saying yesterday, it's weird isn't it. When you first come forward. Everyone is carrying on like everything's normal, but it takes awhile to wrap your head around the idea that the war is over. At least it did for me – probably a half a year before I stopped looking over my shoulder every moment." Lily shrugged.

"How much did your son tell you about the last battle?" Snape asked quietly, suddenly direct.

"The basics - I guess. Why?"

"It's just that I was curious about the details, I just didn't want to be – _rude – _and interrogate any of the survivors directly," Snape explained. "Like you said – it is abrupt to be thrown forward. One minute things are looking very bad, and the next – everything is fine."

"You didn't think Harry would survive."

"I didn't think he could and fulfill the prophecy, no. Even if by dying he'd destroyed his part of the Dark Lord's soul, that still left the snake and Riddle himself. I thought the resistance would collapse at that point. Luckily, I was wrong. Very damn lucky it all fell into place."

"I know Harry was… grateful at least someone was bothered that Dumbledore had been keeping that bit of information. I think he wasn't quite sure how to feel about Dumbledore not telling him, but planning for him to die, he'd looked up to him so much, especially without James and I around as parents. That's a bit much to handle from a mentor."

"Evidently he wasn't too put out if Albus Potter is any indication."

"Albus Severus?"

"Yes, Albus. The son named Albus. He introduced me to the whole family when I spoke with him in Diagon Alley. James, Lily, Albus. Very original."

"No, no, I mean his name is Albus _Severus_."

"Yes. Albus. Like the late headmaster, _Lily._"

"No, that's his middle name."

"Then what's his first name?"

"Albus."

"He named his son Albus Albus? Now that's daft, even for him."

"No, his middle name is Severus. He named him after Dumbledore and _you_."

"Oh."

"Oh no! You were supposed to say 'Serious?' just then, and then she would say "Oh no, that's James's middle name," said Charlotte.

"But tell me," said Professor McGonagall with a smirk, "who is on first?*" Evidently the rest of the faculty table had been listening. Bentham, Flitwick, Hagrid and Sinistra were opening chuckling. Longbottom was resolutely not looking in Snape's direction.

Reddening, Snape muttered, "Touching."

Lily shook her head. "Oh come now Sev, it was a nice gesture."

"I would have thought it would take more than three children before he ran out of person to memorialize before getting to me."

"Well, the Weasleys _did_ manage to beat us to Remus."

Snape managed an "Hmmph." Outwardly he turned his attention to the cabbage stew on his plate. Internally, he gave thanks his name hadn't been farther up the line – if only because it prevented the existence of an abomination named James Severus Potter.

"So, what do you think of this Spring Dance business?" Charlotte asked Snape.

"Spring Dance?" Snape said.

"The students have been watching too many American shows," added Lily. "They want a prom."

"Lovely," said Snape.

"Not the worst thing for them to have a bit of fun – I certainly enjoyed the Yule Ball the year we had the Triwizard Tournament," said Neville.

"Oh that whole thing was such a burden" – interjected Flitwick – "even if external circumstances hadn't brought such a tragic ending, the Tournament was such a distraction and a disruption to education."

"Well, I don't suppose we have to worry there will be any calls to reinstate it any time soon," McGonagall reassured Flitwick.

As conversation among the other teachers continued to focus on the ill-fated revival of the Triwizard Tournament, Snape turned back to Lily and asked her about what she was currently covering in her classes. When they parted, Snape's mood was uncharacteristically cheerful, although when he discovered a group of students poised to move from a verbal altercation to hexes, he moved closer to what felt like his natural equilibrium.

* * *

Before lunch, Lily met Neville at the greenhouses to inspect plants being grown as potions supplies. As they walked the length of the building, Neville surprised Lily when he suddenly asked, "How did James propose?"

"Oh, ah – we were at the shore – some friends and us – and he called me over. Said that he'd found a neat shell – you know, one where both sides are still connected? Anyways, it was big too – much bigger than you'd expect to just find lying around, and he handed it to me. I opened it up and there was a ring inside. I honestly just mentally shut down – the first thing I said was 'Oh no – someone's lost their ring! How are we going to find who it belongs to?' and everyone just started laughing nervously. I was just in shock or something – I finally realized what it was when I saw that James wasn't giggling along with everyone else, but just standing there looking odd. Of course I said yes. "

"That really is sweet. I'm… sorry if it was a nosey or insensitive question."

"It's really a good memory – there aren't too many from that time compared to the bad. You're fine Neville," said Lily. "Although, I admit I am curious about why you have proposals on the brain," she continued with a sly smile.

"That transparent huh?"

"Have you talked about it with her? Or beaten around the bush at all?"

"A little bit. I don't know – she's not like a lot of women – marriage isn't all that important to her – but I can't imagine myself with anyone else. And we've been together for so long."

"Well, she's a very lucky witch indeed."

"I haven't made any definite plans yet – but I thought I should probably talk it over with someone," he said with a nervous laugh, "I mean, never done anything like this before."

"You're a Gryffindor aren't you?" teased Lily.

"Yeah, though sometimes I need to be reminded," he said. Looking at the crops they'd come to inspect, he furrowed his brow, "That's odd."

"What?" asked Lily.

"I could have sworn I had more _Phaleanopsis delphus_ plants," said Neville. Reaching into his satchel, he took out a record book. He consulted the book, then said "Yes, there were seven in October. Now there're five."

"Could two have died?"

"Yes, that's what I'm looking for now – it would be odd for such a plant to just die without my noticing – let's see. Hmmm. There's no root anywhere near where those two missing plants would have been," Neville continued to investigate the ground in question on his knees while Lily crouched not far behind. "I'm sorry Lily, but it looks like I won't be able to harvest as much as you wanted."

"I'll manage. I wonder though, should we be…"

"Worried about the fact that someone stole Oracle Orchids? Yes." Neville sighed, obviously distressed. "Well, I should be anyways – I'm responsible for the greenhouses. I should tell the headmistress right away. And strengthen the wards of course – I honestly don't know how they managed this – certainly it should be beyond any student here to break in without at least tripping the alarms."

Worried and puzzled, the two professors completed the inspection and headed back to the castle.

******AN: I managed to cobble this together over the last couple of weeks. As I said before, updates will be sporadic at best until December. Please R & R!**

*Sorry guys. This fic is categorized as Romance/_Humor _and I felt I had to lighten things up after all the angst from the last two chapters. This was my best effort at honoring the original genres I'll show myself out now.


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: Don't own anything. Silliness Warning.**

* * *

Over the next two weeks, Snape was pleased that he and Lily seemed to have settled into what he thought of as a _companionable equilibrium, _at the very least. Communication over the notebooks was frequent, although the topics admittedly superficial. They tended to sit near, if not always next to each other at meals, and he'd even met with her in the potions classroom to discuss curriculum, supplies and other teaching related questions. They hadn't been alone again in either of their suites, but she'd always request his presence when she, Longbottom and Bentham gathered in one of the teacher's suites for grading or socialization. Although he usually demurred in the former, he typically accepted in the later. Longbottom and Bentham had even proved to be adequate adversaries in chess or the odd card of board game.

The first flying lessons, on the other hand, had been more of a disappointment. It seemed that the three of them had been regularly practicing combative spellwork – a combination of habit from DA and Order days, and a need to break up the tedium of the school year apparently. That was why Bentham and Longbottom had been so keen to rope Snape in as a guest instructor, so to speak. The three professors had been able to apply the principles of the wandless "flying" spell to items with some practice, but applying it to themselves in a sustained, controlled manner was proving more of a challenge.

Snape had decided to start simple, and tried various ways of initiating propulsion – he'd initially thought of using a piece of muggle equipment called a "trampoline," which was similar to the device the Dark Lord had used to teach him. He'd decided against it all most immediately, however. He could be overthinking it, but he wasn't ready to watch Lily on one again – he had enough memories from his youth to know the effect of that sort of activity on her chest, and the effect of _that _on _him. _He quickly decided to try a rope swing instead.

So far, the results had been frustratingly poor – all three had managed to slow their descents, but none could maintain anything consistent. When they arrived at the room of requirement for their fifth day, they'd all been surprised when a trampoline had been added to the equipment.

"Oh wow, that looks like it could help," said Longbottom.

"Oh I haven't been on one of those in ages," giggled Bentham.

_Having a laugh now? Fucking room, _thought Snape. Then he caught Lily looking at him with a discrete smile.

As the other two started taking off their shoes, she turned to him and said, "do you think you can manage to keep all your teeth this time Sev?"

"That trampoline was _defective," _he responded in a harsh whisper.

"Mmmhmm. Right Sev."

"Besides, I don't think there is any need for me to get up on that thing," Snape said a little more loudly.

"Well, how do you expect to explain how we're supposed to start flying by jumping on this thing if you don't do it?" asked Bentham.

Snape didn't dignify her question with a response. Instead, his eyes settled on his third pupil who had begun to walk gingerly onto the trampoline. "Longbottom!"

"Yes sir?"

"Step down."

Neville complied. Snape climbed onto the surface, gauging the spring of the equipment as he walked to the center. "Pay attention to how I wait until the apex of the jump where my velocity is zero and _lengthen _that time – I will perform some purely vertical exercises and then I'll jump forward, and, using the same principles, fly forward onto the ground," he explained while trying not to think about how silly he would look.

The three onlookers watched as he bent his knees, and sprang into the air, coming to an almost complete stop about 3 feet off the top of the trampoline, then slowly accelerated downwards, hitting the trampoline at the same speed at which he'd left it. He jumped higher the second time, commenting as he rose and floated the second time, "Concentrate on reducing the rate of acceleration!" He jumped a third time, aiming himself forward as well as up, travelling about twenty feet past the trampoline before coming to rest.

The other three professors looked unsure. "Can you show us the vertical jumping again?" asked Bentham.

Reluctantly, Snape climbed back on the trampoline and demonstrated again.

"Now, it's your turn," he said.

No one stepped forward initially. After a pause, Lily started toward the trampoline. As she approached the edge, he realized that because she was shorter than he was, she was either going to have to hoist herself up and roll onto the top or he could pull her up. Before he could make a decision, their eyes met, and Snape interpreted this as a request for a hand. He extended his arm, and she clasped it, her hand gripping right below his elbow, the inner side of their arms aligned. In a swift movement, he brought her up, lightly touching the back of her shoulder with his free hand to steady her, then backed away as she found her balance. She wasn't looking at him anymore. Snape climbed down from the trampoline and took up a position to observe her.

Lily bounced a few times without trying to extend her time in the air, getting a feel for the trampoline. Then, with her eyes closed, she began to slow her descent little by little on each jump. Finally, she looked almost like she was slowly sinking in a pool. _Too bad she didn't wear her hair loose instead of in that braid, she'd look so beautiful with her hair spread all around her, _thought Snape, before he chastised himself. _Focus Severus!_

Opening her eyes, Lily jumped forward, landing softly about fifteen feet from the trampoline. Longbottom and Bentham gave her a brief round of applause, and Lily, still flushed and breathing heavily from the exertion, bowed with comic exaggeration before glancing at Snape,

Next, Bentham climbed on the trampoline, and eventually managed similar, _if less pronounced_, results. Finally, Longbottom climbed on the trampoline. Taking a deep breath, he too began to jump the regular fashion to begin with, and then attempted to lengthen his fall. Snape looked to his side to watch Lily, who was absentmindedly wrapping her braid around her index finger and then unwinding while watching Longbottom. He saw the alarm on her face for a split second before he was knocked flat on his back.

"Oh Merlin! I'm so ss-sorry Professor!" Neville said as he sprang off of Snape, his face already red and his hands gesturing erratically in front of him. "Are you alright?"

_Stupid. Fucking. Dunderhead. It's a miracle you haven't killed yourself already idiot, is it too much to ask you don't injure the rest of us bastard, _thought Snape. Finally he managed to say, "I'm fine." It came out with more glower than he'd intended, but his uncharacteristically minimal reaction seemed to calm Longbottom somewhat.

Snape decided the day's lesson was over.

* * *

That evening, Lily apparated to the Potter residence for their monthly "family dinner." Third Sundays were dinners at Harry and Ginny's home, with their children and Lily. (First Sundays were a more chaotic meal at the burrow that included all Weasleys, and several other regular guests). Ginny called from the kitchen to welcome her, Albus and Lily the younger had caught a gnome that they wanted to show her. Harry was nowhere to be seen. After inspective her grandchildren's captive, Lily Potter hung up her coat and scarf in the closet and asked if Harry was home.

"Not yet," answered James.

"Working on a Sunday again?" asked Lily.

"Uh huh," answered James. At that, Harry appeared in the fireplace.

"There you are. I was almost prepared to go to the ministry and drag you out myself Harry," said Lily.

"I'm sorry – it really couldn't be helped; everything's fine now," he said as he kissed her cheek.

Lily backed up a step, her hands on his sides and regarded him. "Well, it's my prerogative worry; think of it as making up for lost time."

"Poor man had all those years without, now he has the both of us nagging – go easy on him Lily," said Ginny, appearing from the kitchen. "Anyway, foods ready, so get in there while it's hot – all of you."

Lily smiled and followed the rest of the Potters into the dinning room for dinner.

Afterwards, Lily found Harry in the kitchen. Since Harry had only arrived after the food had been prepared, he was relegated to washing dishes. Lily took up the drying end of the operation. She didn't ask about work (since she knew she would only get vague answers), but instead said, "So, Severus and I are friends again."

"Oh, uh. That's good. I mean, how'd that happen?"

"Well, we pretty much avoiding each other for awhile, then I ended up talking to him when he came to get some of his things from his old rooms – and we got to talking and we've gotten over our spilt I guess…."

"But?"

"Well, things are still a tad awkward of course and he said… at first he said he didn't think he could be my friend because he couldn't_ just _be my friend… but… he's fine with how things are, for now."

"Hmm. And are you?"

"Yes. I mean. He's right, I can't just expect things to go back to the way they were – and if part of the problem was that he… felt differently than I did… then, it will eventually become a problem again."

"Yeah, I think I understand. What's he going to do the next time you start dating someone? He might care about you, but he's human."

"Uh huh. Well, I'll be gone soon anyways – that will at least delay the issue."

"And he's really not going to like that."

"He hasn't seem too put out by it – I think it might be a bit less stressful for him not having me around. I don't think my going to Australia worries him too much."

"You know what I meant," Harry whispered. "I guess you're not planning on telling him?"

"Well, not now at least – I've barely told anyone – and I probably won't. He'd just try to talk me out of it."

"Can't blame him," said Harry with concern.

"Anyways," said Lily, redirecting the course of the conversation, "I'm inviting him to my birthday party, if it's alright with you."

"No problem. Although I'm having trouble picturing Snape showing up," Harry said. He continued with mock seriousness, "Then again, the power of love is a mysterious and mighty thing."

"Harry!" Lily said disapprovingly.

"Sorry, I can't help it. I mean – I _believed _him when I saw the memories. But the reality of Snape being lovesick is a bit much to picture," he answered.

"I wouldn't call him that – I mean, it's not like he's showing up with flowers and making grand gestures. He's still very reserved – like I described before."

"That's good. Glad to know the world hasn't totally gone mad," he said with a hint of weariness.

"Anyways, you'll see him for yourself on Saturday – promise to be mature about this Harry."

"Trust me. The _last_ thing I want is to remind Snape I know about all that," he said with conviction.

With a smile, and a shake of her head, Lily concentrated on drying the last of the dishes.

* * *

Monday morning, Lily found herself seated next to Severus at breakfast. He greeted her with a brief smile and the usual pleasantries as she took her seat before returning to his food.

After most of the teachers had left, she said, "Harry's having a bit of a get-together for my birthday this weekend."

"Oh?"

"And you're welcome to come – it's this Saturday at 7, we're portkeying to a cook out."

"In the middle of winter?" he said neutrally.

"Hermione's been getting good at really large warming charms – we thought grilling in the snow and woods would be novel – rather silly but there it is. Anyways, I'd be happy to have you there," she finished.

He didn't speak at first, then seemed to remember that a response was expected. "Thank you – I'm sure I can spare the time to make an appearance."

"Great," she said as a grin spread across her face as tension she hadn't realized she'd had fled her body.

* * *

**AN: Reviews are always appreciated and are also the best way to keep new chapters coming with a semblance of regularity. I'm sure you're all eagerly awaiting the next installment after that sexual tension in the trampoline scene between ****Neville**** and Snape ;)**


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